Party Poopers by R.L. Stine Page B

“I’d rather have big, red pimples up and down my tongue,” she said.
    â€œIs that a yes ?” I asked.
    â€œI’d rather stick my head into Pooper’s Pond,” shesaid. “I’d rather drill a third nostril into my nose.”
    â€œIs that a maybe?” I asked. I slapped my hand over her mouth. “No. Don’t answer. I know what you’re really saying. You’re really saying you want to ask me to the All-Nighter.”
    April-May tossed back her head and laughed until she swallowed her bubble gum.
    â€œOWW!” I let out a scream as someone attacked me from behind.
    I felt two strong arms wrap around my waist. I lurched—and fell backward onto the grass. Before I could move, someone landed on my stomach.
    Jennifer Ecch!
    That big, hulking girl I call Nightmare Girl. She sat on me, her stringy hair falling over her face. She gazed down at me with her one brown eye and one blue eye.
    â€œHoney Cakes,” she cooed, “guess who’s going to the All-Nighter with me?”

Chapter 5
B ERNIE B REATH
    Do you know how embarrassing it is to be in fourth grade and have a girl who’s totally in love with you?
    Jennifer Ecch follows me everywhere. She calls me Honey Cakes and Baby Lamb. She thinks it’s perfectly okay to plant loud, smoochy kisses all over me—even in class!
    It’s hard to fight her. She’s big and strong. She opens cans with her teeth !
    And now here she was, sitting on my chest, inviting me to the All-Nighter in front of my girlfriend !
    I struggled to breathe. “April-May, don’t bejealous,” I choked out.
    April-May laughed. “That’s so adorable, the way Jennifer tackled you and knocked your breath out,” she said.
    â€œAdorable?” I cried. “She broke sixteen ribs!”
    April-May grinned down at me. “That’s so cute, the way Jennifer is planting smoochy kisses up and down your arm.”
    I groaned. “It’s giving me a skin rash! I’ll have to see the nurse!”
    Jennifer grabbed my head and tugged it.
    â€œThe head doesn’t come off!” I screamed. “It’s attached to my neck!”
    April-May laughed again. “Bernie, it’s so totally cute how she’s got you in that headlock and won’t let go until you agree to go to the All-Nighter with her!”
    â€œCute? You call this cute ?” I wailed. “She rubbed off all my hair. I’ve been scalped !”
    April-May shrugged. “Frankly, Bernie, I don’t know what she sees in you.” She tossed back her blond ponytail and hurried away.
    The Ecch leaned over me, breaking a few more ribs. “Don’t pay any attention to that stuck-up girl,Lamby Toes,” she cooed.
    â€œDon’t call me Lamby Toes!” I shouted.
    â€œBaa-baa Berniekins,” she said.
    SICK!
    â€œJennifer, I…I can’t go with you to the All-Nighter.”
    She gave my ears a hard tug. I knew my earmuffs wouldn’t fit anymore. “Why not?” she demanded.

    â€œI…I have Dorm Patrol that night. I have to stay in and guard the dorm.”
    She pulled my ears again. This time she pulled them so hard, they touched each other! “Honey Face, there’s no such thing as Dorm Patrol.”
    I gulped. “There isn’t?”
    She squeezed my neck until my eyeballs nearly popped out. “Bernie Breath, we’ll have so much fun at the All-Nighter!”
    â€œPlease— please don’t call me Bernie Breath!” I begged.
    â€œWe’ll have the whole night together!” she said. “Hours and hours!”
    I groaned. I knew what the night would be like. Jennifer hugging me and holding on to me and calling me Bernie Breath in front of all my friends.

    I mean, double
    I couldn’t go with Jennifer. No way. Especially since April-May was dying to ask me!
    And here was the other problem: If The Ecch was hugging me all night, how would I