Past Due by Elizabeth Seckman Page B

consumed with hate and anger. I couldn’t even be around her. My sister hated me. Regretted more than ever the day I was born.”
    “Oh, surely not.”
    “Trust me, she was completely open about how she felt about me.”
    “I always thought you two were close.”
    “No. The best we ever had was a polite acceptance. Truth be told, I resented Angel nearly as much as she resented me. It was impossible to avoid. I just wish she could have lived long enough for us to work through it all. Then maybe we could have been friends. Oh, I’m just so worn out, Lois. All I’ve ever wanted my entire life was to just be normal. Why is it so hard to just be like other people?”
    “It would be a boring world if we were all alike.”
    Jenna scooted to the edge of her seat and leaned toward Lois, “When Dad moved us here I thought it was my chance to be someone else...to grow beyond my childhood. But you know I can’t. I think by trying so hard to pretend I’m normal...to pretend my family was like everyone else’s...it just took all my energy. I’ve totally exhausted myself. I’m tired. Just completely and totally worn out from all the drama that’s been my life. I just want peace.”
    Jenna recognized the look of confusion on Lois’s face. She realized she was talking in circles, at least as far as Lois could hear. “You’re confused because I’ve never told you the truth. How kind you’ve been to me over the years, Lois, and yet I’ve never trusted you with honesty. I should have just told you years ago, but I’ve never even been open with Maureen.”
    “Jenna, dear, I do know you. I don’t have to know every detail in your life to know who you are. Never think you owe me anything. Come on, child, everyone has their share of secrets.”
    “Well, I’m tired of secrets.”
    Lois nodded. Jenna continued, “Did you know my father was a Marine?”
    “No. Honestly, I never would have guessed that.”
    “Yep. That’s what attracted my mother to him. Now, you need to understand, my mom never treated me like a daughter, I was her buddy. She told me things, which looking back on, as a mother myself, I’m shocked. She told me that she dated my dad because he was handsome in his uniform and set to go to Viet Nam. The sum of it all ‘stirred her passions’. So, they dated. Sent letters back and forth while he was at war. Mom was in love with a soldier in danger, but couldn’t help losing the romance when he returned home and became a civilian. She told me he asked her to marry him, but he was suddenly boring, and his plan to enter the seminary? Not at all glamorous. Instead, she decided she’d be a model. She wanted money and excitement, so she broke up with him and headed off to New York. For years they had no contact with each other. Dad met Angel’s mom, Trish, and they were married for about three years when my mom came back to town. Modeling had been a bust, so she came home and was working as a cashier at a grocery store. She told me Trish embarrassed her at work by rubbing it in mom’s face that she failed at modeling. So, my mom set out to teach her a lesson. She knew my father’s marriage was shaky at best. Trish was notoriously a difficult woman to get along with... my father can never be credited with good judgment in choosing women.” Jenna’s laugh was hollow. “Anyhow, my mother went after my father with a vengeance. With the sole intention of breaking up his marriage. She told me she planned to get pregnant and dad would be forced to leave Trish and marry her. Sadly, my mom’s plan, as with most everything in her life, wasn’t too well thought out. Trish got pregnant first. Dad had just gotten out of seminary and was beginning his career as a minister. Then my mom announced she too was pregnant. Angel and I were only three months apart.” Jenna paused, “It’d be almost laughable if I hadn’t had to live through it; had to be the crux of the scandal. If my mother had had a shred of good sense,