have a big view. Looking out at it, with Nell stroking my arm, I calm down. She is wearing a white top with hearts on it and her hair isa vigorous spray of auburn from a high ponytail. She has the straightest white teeth when she smiles.
âOhmigod!â I scream, finally noticing something that isnât directly focused on myself. âYour braces have gone! Why didnât you tell me? When did it happen? You look so amazing. Your face is a different shape. Wow, Nell.â
Nell smiles a huge toothpaste-commercial smile.
âI wanted you to see the reality,â she says.
Now my that self-absorption has peaked and is beginning to pass, I have a thousand questions for her.
âWho are you hanging out with at school? Who has taken my place in the play? Whoâs going out with who?â
We would have been there all day if Dad had any food, but hunger pangs get the better of us and we go down to the shop for Pot Noodles and some sherbet dib-dabs, which Nell insists are the most lush thing ever. We are paying, and I have just thanked the third person for asking and said, âYes, I am enjoying life in London,â when someone touches my shoulder. I turn round, my mouth full of fizzing sherbet, and cough a cloud of it over Josh.
âHi, Lola.â He dusts himself down and waits for me to finish coughing. âItâs nice to have you back.â
Unfortunately, I canât speak. My eyes are watering and I have to gesture to be patted on the back. Nell whacks me and I take a deep breath as we move out into the village street.
âSorry, sorry,â I splutter. âYes, I know, it is weird being back . . .â
Josh is on the pavement and I am in the road, so he is towering above me.
âI suppose you think this place is just a joke now,â he mutters, and I am too surprised to say anything for a moment. He nods as though I have confirmed his thoughts. âI knew it when I saw you in our kitchen. I told Mum youâd changed, but she wouldnât have it.â
I want to get right what I say, and I am thinking as I open my mouth to begin speaking.
âYouâre right, I have changed, and so haveââ
The flash of anger in Joshâs face is gone so fast Iâm not sure I saw it, but in its place he is stony and cold.
âIâm glad you can admit it. I hope you find what you came here for,â he says, his voice so icy and polite it would have me laughing if my heart wasnât pounding in shock.
âI didnât come here for anythingââ I start to say, but he has turned and is walking off, his hands deep in the pockets of his big oilskin coat, his gait clumsy but fast because heâs got waders on, looking ungainly as a seal, as people dressed up for the sea always do.
âPoor Josh,â says Nell. âHeâs working for his dad now, and heâs thinking about dropping out of school, giving up his A levels to work full-time.â We have reached the quay, but Josh is already in his boat, untying the ropes and pulling the engine cord. âI think the guy who worked for them had an accident and there is a big insurance claim or something. Your dad will know. But Josh is under pressure, so donât worry about it, Lola. Heâll come round.â
âWhy canât he finish his A levels?â The sounds ofthe quay, the clanging masts and the cries of gulls are so familiar theyâre like the voice of a family member.
âTheir business canât afford them to hire an outsider so they need to use Josh,â says Nell. âOtherwise theyâll go under. My parents say this is a terrible time to be involved with the sea for your livelihood.â
Josh has his sail up now, a red triangle pulled in tight as he tacks out up the creek.
âHeâs had to grow up fast,â I murmur, watching him head out to sea.
All the time I am in Staitheley I have the feeling someone is watching me. It isnât a