P.J. Morse - Clancy Parker 02 - Exile on Slain Street by P.J. Morse Page A

decided to give her a special treat after The Attack of the Stripper Pole.
    “You can’t get away with being shy for that long, honey! Not with your angel face!” Patrick said. He walked up to the podium and stretched his hand toward her. She walked down and seemed to be in a daze as the locket fell into place. He gently ran his hands through her short blonde hair and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He would have looked like a real gentleman if he hadn’t been dating 19 other women at once.
    “Now — I just picked a sweet little pixie, but I also like them tough, and I just realized I need to watch my step around this woman,” he continued.
    I thought he was going to say Topaz or Tina. But he said, “Katherine, my flame throwa?” He spun the locket’s chain around his finger.
    I headed down, my boots clunking against the tiers.
    “Remind me to keep my lighter away from you!” he said as he put the chain around my neck. Then he moved in for the kiss.
    I got nervous, but I had to accept after I gave him a fistful of hair earlier. I let him zoom in toward my face, but I kept my mouth closed and pressed hard against his lips. While the other women behaved as if they saw stars upon kissing him, I wondered how much saliva Patrick was passing around in one night.
    Then again, I kind of enjoyed the brush of his goatee against my face. It tickled. His lips were soft, and he tasted like Chapstick. But I wasn’t sure if that was another girl’s Chapstick or his own, and that sort of spoiled the moment. The cameras didn’t help, either.
    Topaz was up next, labeled as another “tough woman.” She stood next to me and gave me a smug look. “At least I’m not gonna set the house on fire,” she muttered.
    Patrick said Lorelai’s name and called her a “late-breaking sensation” as she slinked up to get her locket. Other women were plucked from the crowd until Tina, the Inebriated Triple-Headed Hydra, and a few other women I hadn’t met yet were left. Tina was shaking and looked confused, as if she couldn’t possibly be the last one called because she was so pretty.
    “You guys all know the drill. You know how hard it is for me, but I’m not Mormon, so I can’t date all of you.” Patrick held out his arms and gave a sheepish smile.
    The women who got the joke laughed. Stacy, Casey, and Tracy had blank faces. Stacy was having trouble looking at Patrick, period.
    “This locket is going to Tina,” Patrick said.
    Tina rushed him, threw her arms around him, and gave him a lingering kiss. She even stroked his cheek. “Why’d you wait so long, baby?” she asked.
    It was a reasonable question. If we were being measured by Playboy standards, then Tina was easily the most beautiful of all of us. Patrick told her, “Well, I’ve been on this merry-go-round before, you know?”
    She nodded.
    “And I don’t need another woman who has one eye on me and one on the camera. I just need to be sure of you, Tina.”
    Patrick had whipped up a nifty moment. Kevin was off to the side, rubbing his hands together. He and Patrick had probably sketched it out when they determined the elimination order, and it came off beautifully.
    Tears glittered in Tina’s eyes. “You can be sure of me, Patrick,” she said, gripping his hand as he guided her toward the rest of us. To show off, she wedged her locket into her cleavage.
    All the other women remained on the tiers. Casey asked Tracy, “Wait — does that mean we didn’t win?”
    “Who cares, let’s get ourselves a drink for the road!” Tracy shouted. She spun around like she was going to make a beeline for the bar, but the last thing she needed was more booze.
    While Casey and Tracy were taking Patrick’s rejection in stride — sort of — Stacy wasn’t taking it well at all. “You’re all fake! Fakertons! Fakerellis! Fakewads! Haters!” she screeched. “My sister made it to the semifinals of Sexy Single Dad ! This is supposed to be my time!” She pounded her chest. “My