Prescription for Chaos by Christopher Anvil Page B

Peabody?"
    "He's drowning himself in work," said Hommel.
    "Good." Banner picked up a newspaper. "If you'd just glance over the items circled on the front page, Mort."
    Hommel glanced over the front page, to notice to his horror that practically every news item was circled:
 
NO STRIKE, SAYS UNION
Accept Voluntary Pay Cut

RACE WAR ENDS
"We Love Each Other" Say Rival Gang Chiefs

PEACE FORCE ENDS STRIFE
"Friendship Bombs" End Long-Drawn War
Guerrillas Emerge From Jungle Hideout

COMMON COLD LICKED BY RESEARCHERS
Nullergin-200 Gives Double Dose of Blessings
No Sniffles No Snarls

URGE NULLERGIZATED CITY WATER SUPPLY
Ends Colds, Strife With Same Method

PETTIBO STORES HEIRESS FOUND
Eloped With Garbage Collector
Class No Obstacle To True Friendship

IS PEACE PACT REAL?
Soviets Claim Treaty Sprayed With Superdrug
 
    Hommel looked up dazedly.
    Banner said, "Things are picking up, Mort."
    "But is it better, or worse?"
    "Take a look at the folded page."
    Hommel turned back to a page with the corner folded, to read:
 
INDUSTRIAL OUTPUT DROPPING AGAIN
Productivity Per Man-Hour Hits New Low Again This Month
 
    Hommel read the article, certain comments standing out boldly:
 
". . . Blamed on on-the-job socializing and increased hesitancy of supervisory personnel to force the pace . . . 'After all, we're all one happy family,' says the superintendent of the Boswah Corporation's East Steelport plant . . . claimed it is possible to keep production lines moving but only by slowing them further . . . 'There is a much nicer atmosphere around here,' comments one worker, sipping her coffee as the line idles by, 'It used to be hurry-hurry-hurry' . . . Executives agree, 'Our competitors have the same problem. Why would we want to hurt their business by stepping up productivity. They're basically very nice people.' . . . Dissenter is the crusty, hard-lining president of Kiersager Corporation, who insists, 'We will fire every one of these pooped-out friendship addicts that turns up for work. This mess of flabby hand-shakers is so much clotted blood in the arteries of commerce.'"
 
    Hommel looked up. "Is it like this all over the country?"
    "Can you think of anyone who doesn't want to avoid colds?"
    "No. Everyone wants to avoid them," Hommel said.
    "And how many people are there now who are against taking drugs on principle?"
    "Not many."
    Banner nodded. "This was bound to come along sooner or later. If people would only use the stuff in moderation, there'd be no problem. But they figure if two pills are good, four pills are twice as good."
    Hommel said glumly, "At least it isn't habit-forming."
    "No, but if you take two pills before breakfast long enough, you've got the habit whether the pills themselves are habit-forming or not. And if without the pills you snarl at people, and with the pills you feel friendly, which way will most people want to feel?"
    "Friendly."
    "Right. And if things get so exasperating they stop feeling friendly, they take more pills. And it's a little hard to regulate it, when the friendly authorities are using it themselves. Worse yet, supposing every factory on earth stopped making the pills tomorrow? First, the stuff is somewhat cumulative, and second, consider the uproar when it suddenly wore off. What we need is something so we can come out of this slowly ."
    Hommel stared at the paper. "But it's doing some good."
    "So does a dose of castor oil. But one dose is enough. Keep hunting for that antidote."
     
    Time passed, and more and more money and effort went into finding an antidote. Peabody, driven by a compounded sense of humiliation, seemed to think he could only justify his existence by finding the antidote, and was working day and night with every sign of being close on the trail of something .
    Meanwhile, in case their attempt to find an antidote should prove useless, Hommel in desperation was following up an improbable project designed to produce some natural antidote. The drug