Prostho Plus by Piers Anthony Page B

"I'm sure you know what you're doing, in your field—but diplomacy is my field, and I assure you that if we don't act soon, this will be a bad territory for tetrapods. This happens to be one of the few civilized planets where war is a recognized way to settle disputes."
    "War! You mean they'd—"
    "Both sides are already enlisting mercenaries."
    Dillingham sat down, appalled. It was too late now to condemn himself for a meddler. He should have kept his opinions to himself until checking with Trach. "What can I do?"
    "Other than retract, you mean? You could meet with the dental league and explain your position. They might listen, if you catch them before hostilities formally commence."
    "I'll meet them! Is there much time?"
    "Oh, yes. The first engagement isn't scheduled until this evening."
    This evening! Let's not waste any time, then. I'd hate to have a war on my conscience."
    "Come with me." Trach led the way with such assurance that Dillingham suspected this choice had been anticipated. The dinosaur didn't know much about dentistry, but he could manage people of any type.
    "How do they do anything? Dillingham inquired as they traversed the prismatic outdoors. "These Electrolytes don't seem to have any hands, or any other way to manipulate objects. How can they feed themselves, let alone make war?"
    "No problem. They employ remote-controlled devices for the manual tasks. Communication is the same as power, and it does economize on burdensome musculature."
    "Then aphasia must be a very serious problem, when it occurs. It would resemble paralysis."
    "Exactly. You can be a hero, if only you can pacify the league. But remember, you're dealing with conservatives."
    "Sure." He reflected sombrely. It looked as though this were the brand of "conservatism" that placed business interest ahead of cultural welfare. "Can you offer any more advice, before I put my foot in it again?"
    Trach could. This, too, had been anticipated. The next few minutes were an intensive briefing in diplomacy vis-ŕ-vis Electrolus.
    The representatives of the dental league were grouped like so many stones in their auditorium, ringed by spider-legged devices that were evidently their remote-controlled hands. Dillingham began to see why war was still sanctioned here; the destruction of a mobile unit might be inconvenient, but not fatal to the owner. Not so long as the melee was distant.
    "You'll have to do the talking," Trach said, handing him the transcoder. The machine had been turned off to ensure the privacy of their recent conversation. "They won't accept your sincerity if I prompt you. They may ask me a question or two, but you'll have to convince them that your way is best. Otherwise—"
    "I know," Dillingham said unhappily. Outrage, war, the ruin of Trach's mission, and forced sale of Dillingham's contract for carfare home. He turned on the transcorder as he advanced to meet the dental league.
    The spokesman wasted no time. "For what purpose have you started this war, alien?"
    Dillingham paused before replying, remembering Trach's caution against impetuous remarks. "I think there has been a misunderstanding. I did not intend to start a war." That should be imprecise enough. They were the ones who intended to do battle rather than admit responsibility for the aphasia, but they could save face by blaming it on him.
    "Did you not directly and publicly contravene published League policy and conspire to set the governing council against us?"
    "I am a stranger to this planet. I thought I was privately advising a patient of his best interests. I would gladly have left his care to you, had he not insisted on my attention." And why had the patient sought an alien dentist, unless the local ones had already given up on him?
    The pause that preceded the next question reassured him that his surmise had been correct. They were not going to challenge his right to minister to an awkward case—not when that line of investigation could turn so readily against them.