Remember by Eileen Cook Page B

anything I didn’t want to. It was my idea in the first place.” He squeezed my hand. He didn’t even mention how he’d tried to talk me out of the plan, but that fact hung between the two of us. It was another thing that tied me to him. He’d risked everything for me.
    “My dad won’t cancel your internship.” I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince him or myself.
    “I don’t think he will either, but if he did, I’d deserve it. I didn’t even think about how what we were doing could damage Neurotech.” Josh shook his head like he couldn’t believe how stupid he’d been. “I could kick myself. I didn’t even think of the insurance claim.”
    “I guess neither of us has a life of crime ahead of us. We’re not great planners.”
    “Guess not.” Josh picked at his jeans.
    “I can talk to my dad again,” I offered.
    “No. It’ll be better if I do it. He’ll respect it more if I talk to him directly; if he thinks I’m hiding behind you, he’ll be even more disappointed in me. I’m meeting with him after school today. I plan to throw myself on his mercy and plead being momentarily stupid.”
    “It’s okay if you’re mad at me. You don’t always have to understand. You only did it because I wanted you to.” I leaned my head back against one of the shelves. I was vaguely exasperated. I knew Josh wanted me to apologize, but he wouldn’t just come out and say he was ticked. He had to play this game where he acted like he was fine and I still ended up begging for him to forgive me. I had the sense my dad was going to forgive Josh easier than he would forgive me.
    “If your point is that I wasn’t planning to sneak other people in for the treatment, then you’re right, but that doesn’t change anything. I did it because I thought it would help. And it did help—you’re feeling better, right?” Josh said.
    I paused. Josh pulled back so he could see my face.
    “You are feeling better?”
    “Yes. Mostly.” I pulled on the hem of my uniform skirt. Considering that the school didn’t want us to be sexually active, you’d think they would know better than to dress us up like a bunch of naughty schoolgirls. “I feel better about Harry. I can think about him now without falling to pieces.”
    Josh pushed the hair out of his eyes. “It’s fine if you’re stilla bit sad. The procedure doesn’t wipe the memories out. Some people still find they have these residual feelings; that’s perfectly normal.”
    I hated how he sounded. Just because he worked at Neurotech, he acted like he knew more than me about the procedure. “It’s not that. I’ve just had a couple strange symptoms.” I forced a laugh, trying to make it seem like no big deal. “I’m not even sure they’re related to the treatment; I’m pretty strange on my own.”
    “Symptoms?” The worry in his voice came through loud and clear.
    “Maybe ‘symptom’ is the wrong word. There’s some stuff that’s odd,” I said.
    “Tell me.”
    I leaned back. The truth was I was relieved to talk about it with someone. “Right after the procedure I felt really great, but then I started having more trouble sleeping. I’m waking up. Like jolting up, how you do when you’re having a nightmare. The thing is, I’ve been having trouble sleeping since Harry died, so it isn’t new so much as worse.”
    “What are your dreams about?”
    “That’s the thing. I don’t really remember anything, or what I remember is just this sliver. As soon as I start to focus on it, it gets even harder to recall,” I said.
    “What do you remember?”
    I tilted my head back against the wall and closed my eyes.“There’s a woman. It’s like she’s my mom, but she’s not my mom. Does that make sense?”
    “Dreams are like that all the time—you’re in a house that you know is home, except it’s not home. Stuff like that.” Josh waved his hand for me to continue.
    “It’s weird because nothing really happens in the dream. It’s boring