Restless Waters by Jessica Speart Page B

her affection by rubbing up and leaving a swathe of marmalade-colored fur on my pants. Had I been wearing shorts, it would have looked as though I never shaved my legs.
    I heard the television and walked into the living room, where Kevin lay sprawled on the couch, drinking a beer and watching the day’s sports. Santou didn’t seem to be anywhere around.
    “Is Jake home?” I asked, wondering how to possibly make more money so that we could get our own place.
    “Nope. He went out,” Kevin replied, never taking his eyes off the screen. “He said he needed some down time.”
    I took that to be guy code for “He went to a bar by himself.”
    Then Kevin placed a hand behind his head and slowlyturned his gray eyes toward me. “You know Rach, you really need to back off a bit. Santou’s going through a tough time right now, what with leaving the FBI. You’ve got to understand, this is a transitional period for him. It’s a tough adjustment to make.”
    All I could think was, What a total schmuck.
    “First off, he didn’t leave the FBI. He’s taken leave until his back gets better,” I corrected. “And secondly, I understand perfectly well what’s going on. That’s why I’m watching out for him. It’s something couples do when they care about each other. By the way, that little feat in the ocean today wasn’t so smart. Jake could have seriously injured himself.”
    “So what do you want him to do then? Sit around all day and twiddle his thumbs?” Kevin challenged.
    “That’s about all he’ll be able to do after becoming paralyzed from following your dumb-ass example of being the big man,” I bristled, just warming up.
    Kevin regarded me in silence before he quietly responded. “Am I really that bad?”
    His abrupt change in tactic effectively threw me off guard.
    “It’s hard to say,” I replied, suddenly feeling like a defensive uptight bitch. “Especially since I have no idea as to who the hell you really are.”
    Kevin continued to study me, and then gradually nodded. “I’m someone who’s trying to forget a painful past and live for today. Is that so hard to understand? Come on. Haven’t you begun to wonder why there are so many ex–Special Forces guys, former mercenaries, and sky jumpers living in Haleiwa? Surely, you’ve noticed.”
    I had found it to be rather odd.
    “It’s because we still feel the need to push ourselves to the edge,” Kevin said, not waiting for my response.
    “What do you mean?” I questioned, in an effort to keep him talking. I’d rarely heard Kevin string more than five words together, and wanted to take full advantage of it.
    Kevin rubbed his eyes so hard that loose saddlebags of skin formed beneath his fists.
    “It’s like those retired cops you hear about. You know, the ones that take to playing Russian Roulette. They do it in order to confront their demons and get a good night’s sleep. Well, it’s pretty much the same thing with us. Only here, it’s a different game. We move to Haleiwa in order to surf and face down the monster waves. It’s how we get our daily dose of adrenaline. That’s what Jake is coming to terms with now.”
    “Yeah, but there’s more to it than just acquiring an adrenaline rush,” I responded, having begun to calm down. “I’ve noticed that some surfers seem to attain an inner peace. It’s almost as if they live to be at one with the waves.”
    “You’re right,” Kevin agreed. “Surfing allows us to let go of our worries and, for a few moments, be in a zone of perfect focus. It’s as if we’ve reached a state of Zen.” He shrugged and took a sip of his beer. “I guess you could say that a big wave is something akin to a spiritual entity for me.”
    I was now beginning to understand why Santou was so drawn to surfing. At the same time, Kevin had opened the door just enough for me to find out a little more about him. He’d mentioned something in particular that intrigued me.
    “Special Forces, huh? I crossed paths