Return to Hendre Ddu by Sian James Page A

promise to be a very good girl for your daddy, I’ll bring you a new doll.’
    ‘With yellow hair and blue eyes that open and shut like a real baby?’
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘And a white shawl all pretty holes like baby Rachel’s?’
    ‘Certainly.’
    ‘All right, I suppose.’ Heavy sigh and long sniff. ‘I don’t want you to go but I hope you have a nice time. Have you got a hankie and some mints?’
    ‘Goodbye, cariad. No, you must let go of me now or I’ll miss the train.’
    Lowri managed to pull herself free and hurried out to the motor car where Graham was waiting to take her to the station.
    ‘I had a long talk with Catrin,’ he told her as soon as she was settled by his side. ‘I think she felt much better when I told her how I’d felt when my first wife, Angela, died. I told her over and over again how I’d suffered and how I’d never dreamed I would ever love again. And I insisted that though my love for her was a different sort of love, less passionate perhaps, it was still very deep and true. And eventually she accepted what I said and thought it might be similar to how she felt about me.’
    ‘I’m so glad. You both deserve some happiness. How long ago was it that your first wife died?’
    ‘Almost four years ago. It will be four years in September.’
    ‘It’s almost three years now since Miriam died. You know about Miriam don’t you?’
    ‘Yes, poor thing. And I think a suicide is more difficult to get over than any other type of death, even a death in battle. It seems such a betrayal somehow, such a failure of love.’
    ‘Yes. Poor Josi. I think he is still tormented by that. Graham, why do you think May has broken off her engagement to Tom? Have you any thoughts about that?’
    ‘Perhaps, looking back on her stay with us, she found us altogether too wild and strange. It took me quite a long time to get used to the Welsh and the Welsh way of life. And I was Scottish, a nearer clan altogether. The English are very unemotional and insular, I’ve found. Anyway, I’m glad you’re going to try to find out something else from her. Things really understood are easier to accept. Anyway, you’re a dear good girl and a great support to us all. Catrin loves you as a sister, I know that and I’ve always been very fond of you. Here we are. Now, take good care of yourself.’
    On the way up to London, Lowri tried to work out a possible reason for May’s failure of nerve, and try as she might she still feared that it was something to do with her, possibly her low status in the family. It was that unease that had made her determined to travel to London.
    She had a hot, tedious journey, with a very long delay at Oxford, and didn’t arrive at Paddington until six that evening. By that time, she was full of worries and doubts. Whatever is May going to think when I arrive at their house? What if she doesn’t invite me to spend the night? Where shall I go? Will she tell me where to find a small inexpensive hotel? Have I got enough money? Hotels in London are hideously expensive, I know that. Oh, I wish I was at home in Cefn Hebog.

Chapter eight
    At last baby Rachel seemed to have got the hang of sucking and Catrin was feeling far more relaxed. From the blackness that had engulfed her she emerged smiling wanly, ready to wonder at May’s defection and at Lowri’s bravery in travelling to London to tackle her.
    ‘Look, Tom, look at her little blue eyelids, she’s really quite pretty, isn’t she, when she’s asleep and not crying, look at the curl of her lips, look at those perfect little fingernails. And now, look, she’s frowning in her sleep. Oh, Sidan bach. That was what Nano used to call me. Tom, you do love her, don’t you?’
    ‘Of course I do. I wish you’d stay here for a few months at least, so that I can really get to know her. A child’s uncle, her mother’s brother, was his closest relative in ancient Welsh culture. The identity of the father might well be unknown so the mother’s