Rocco and Mandy: A Red Team Wedding Novella (Book #6.5) by Elaine Levine Page B

cold.  

    * * *

    Rocco walked along the trail next to Kimble. They were on one of the paths that led toward the back of Blade’s property. It was a beautiful September morning. Not a cloud in sight. The day was warm but not hot. It felt good to be outside.
    Hell, it felt good to be alive.
    Rocco reached into his pocket and brought out Kimble’s bullet. He studied it a moment, then handed it to the older man.  
    Kimble took it. “This mean you want your bullet back?”
    Rocco shrugged. “Doesn’t matter.” He held out his hand. “I guess so. Not much use to you.”
    Kimble handed it over. “Heard you had a hard time last night.”
    Rocco looked over at the shrink. His eyes were old, but there was little they missed. Rocco faced forward. “It was extraordinary.”
    “Tell me what happened.”
    Rocco filled him in. On everything. “I told you I married the daughter of the warlord who was my target, all as part of my cover.” Rocco shut his eyes. “I treated her respectfully.” He paused. “Aw, hell. That’s a fucking lie. I used her. Had things not gone the way they did, I would have honored my responsibility toward her. I doubt we would have stayed married, but I would have seen to it that she was taken care of.” He walked in silence for a little while. “She died before I could tell her about me or the fact that she had options.”
    He looked at Kimble. “She handed me my son, then blew herself up—and the whole goddamned village—before I could tell her the truth. She was pregnant with our second child at the time.”
    Kimble nodded.  
    Rocco explained to him his fear that she would abandon their baby in heaven as she abandoned Zavi in life. “I let that fear gnaw at me for a long time. Last night, it came to a head. I realized I didn’t want to live like that forever.”
    “Good.”  
    Taken aback, Rocco glanced at him.
    “You had to reach that decision point.”
    “I put four bullets in my gun and went down to Mandy’s stable. I was going to kill one of her horses then take my own life.”
    “Interesting. Why that horse?”
    “He’d been abused. He was suffering. Like me.”
    “Ah.”
    “I tried to do it. I really did. But the angels were in the way.”
    Kimble stopped walking and faced Rocco. His eyes suddenly looked a thousand years old. “I’ve seen those very angels.”
    “When?”
    He held up his bullet. “My night of hell.”
    Rocco’s eyes watered. “You think they’re real?”
    Kimble lifted a shoulder. “Real is a perception we each define differently.”
    Rocco frowned. “Doc—”
    “I’m serious. What does it matter if they were celestial beings or just figments of our own imaginations? The end result is the same. We’re both still here.” He met Rocco’s gaze. “What do you want them to be?”
    “Angels. It felt as if they were outside of me.”
    “So does everything you experience, but it exists as a perception in your brain.”
    “So they weren’t angels?”
    “What matters is that you have a second chance. What are you going to do with it?”
    “Will it come back? The madness that drove me to the angels?”
    Kimble started walking again. Rocco fell in step beside him. He caught a small smile from the shrink. “The mind is a ruthless thing, Rocco. It partners with your soul to teach you the lessons you have to learn. It cares nothing for your feelings or those of the people around you. Its single-minded goal is the lesson it has to teach, and it will use every tool available to do that.” He shrugged. “So will it come back? Maybe. But you’ve already been down that road before. It won’t be unfamiliar territory next time. You’ll know what to do. You don’t need to live in fear of it happening again.”
    Rocco sighed, absurdly relieved.
    Kimble looked at him. “You know what I’m curious about? Why did your wife blow herself and the village up?”
    “She hated me.”
    “Maybe. I don’t know enough to say if she did or didn’t. I wonder if