Rogues & Rascals in Goose Pimple Junction (Goose Pimple Junction Mysteries Book 4) by Amy Metz Page B

store and not come out carrying a bag?”
    “Daddy.” Pickle gave a warning shake of his head. “I wouldn’t go there if I were you.”
    “Yeah? Well, you’re not.” Phil snapped the newspaper out in front of him, effectively cutting off all discussion.
    Caledonia wiped the same spot on the countertop that she’d wiped twice since Phil’s arrival in the kitchen. Pickle got up and left the room.
    Twisting around to her husband, the sponge stuck out of her hand propped on a hip. “Why do you have to be so hateful? You like to never say anything nice to me.”
    “If there was something nice to say, I’d say it.” He flicked the newspaper to get the kinks out. “By the way, I may not be home for dinner tonight.”
    She turned back to the counter to compulsively wipe it some more. “Well, when will you know? I need a little warning so I can figure out dinner.”
    He curled the corner of the paper down and looked over the top at her. “You haven’t already planned what you’re fixing?” He might as well have added, ‘What kind of a housewife are you, anyway?’ because that’s what hung in the air unspoken.
    With her back to him, she flashed a most satisfied grin. “Actually, I have. We’re having chicken livers.”
    She turned and saw the scowl on his face, which told her the meal choice had hit its target as intended. “While you’re up, why’nt you get me some coffee?” Phil held his coffee mug in the air as he resumed reading his paper.
    Caledonia stuck out her tongue at the outstretched newspaper as she filled her husband’s mug with coffee and put the pot on the table harder than was necessary. “Excuse me,” she said in the most polite tone she could muster, “I have to go put on my face.”
    “Please do,” he spat.
    Tears swam in Caledonia’s eyes. She felt like she’d been slapped. “That was cruel.”
    “Deal with it,” Phil said from behind his paper.

    “Morning,” Wynona said as she entered Miss Penny’s Dress Shop.
    “Good morning to you, hon. Can I help you?” Miss Penny came around the counter.
    “I’m supposed to meet someone here. We’re just going to browse, I think.”
    “Oh? Who are you meeting?”
    “Caledonia Culpepper.” When Wynona saw the expression on Miss Penny’s face, she had to inquire. “Is something wrong?”
    “Oh, no. Nothing’s wrong. We go a long way back. I hate to say it, but the only thing that separates her from white trash is her rich husband.” Miss Penny crossed her arms and craned her neck to look out the window. She moved closer to Wynona conspiratorially. “You don’t mind me speaking plainly, do you?”
    Wynona ducked her chin. “I thought you just did.”
    “Let’s just say that Caledonia nearly lives up to her potential as a dumb blonde. I mean, who names their children Pickle and Peanut?” Penny peered over her bifocals at Wynona, giving her a know-it-all look.
    “I take your point.” She tried to turn away, but the woman followed, continuing to talk.
    “I mean, there’s a stump in Louisiana with a higher IQ than Caledonia Culpepper.”
    “Well, now—”
    “I mean, she carries an empty Easter basket if you catch my drift.”
    “I know what you mean.” Wynona coughed into her hand to keep from chuckling at her pun that obviously went over Penny’s head.
    “I mean, if brains were chocolate, she wouldn’t have enough for an M&M.”
    Wynona wanted to put a stop to this line of conversation. “Are you here by yourself?”
    “Yes. I have two employees that help out, but they don’t come in until later.”
    “That must be a lot of work for you. Does your husband mind you working that hard?”
    Penny cocked her head.
    Leafing through the rack of dresses against the wall, Wynona explained, “I met him briefly at the party last night.”
    “Oh,” Penny grunted. “He doesn’t seem to care what I do.” She stopped talking and began straightening dresses on a round rack. Seconds later, the bell over the shop door