Ronald Rabbit Is a Dirty Old Man by Lawrence Block Page B

her mouth slackened and her eyes glazed slightly. “Lie on your back, that’s right. No, spread your legs. Now get inside me. Oh, God, you’re so big and hard, and now I’ll put my legs together and squeeze you. Can you feel how tight I am around you?”
    (I could, Rozanne. I could.)
    “Now hook your feet around my ankles. That’s right, so I can’t move. Now spank me.”
    “On the bottom?”
    “Yes, right on my ass. Don’t move your hips, don’t move your cock around, just do everything with the spanking.”
    “How hard?”
    “As hard as you can. And if I say to stop or if I yell that it hurts, don’t pay any attention to me. Just go on hitting me harder. Use your other arm to hold me so I can’t move. Yes, that’s right. Now start beating the shit out of me. Oh, yes. Oh, Jesus. Naughty naughty naughty. Oh, naughty girl. God! Oh, you’re killing me! Oh, Jesus Christ, stop, you’re killing me, naughty, naughty, don’t stop, harder, oh, Jesus, oh —”
    She had an absolutely overwhelming orgasm.
    She wasn’t the only one, Rozanne.
    Now you may be wondering why I took the trouble to tell you all this, Rozanne. You might even suspect that I simply wanted to write something that would get you all hot and bothered. I’ll admit that the thought did cross my mind that you might well read this letter with one hand tucked up under your skirt. In fact it pleases me to picture you that way.
    But there’s more to it than that. You see, you want very much to come over and have me eat your pretty little cunt, but you’re afraid I’ll make a stab at your virginity. Or that I’ll be upset with you for wanting only to be eaten. So I offer this story as proof that you can trust me.
    Naughty Nasty Nancy wanted to be spanked. So I spanked her. Because it was what she wanted. And, simply because it was what she wanted, it became what I wanted, and I enjoyed the whole process as much as she did.
    Think of me as an instrument for your pleasure, Rozanne. I don’t know why you’re afraid of losing your cherry. I don’t have to know why, any more than I care why Nancy Hall can only come good when someone is reddening her rump. People who get hung up on why, wind up losing all their whats.
    Call me. You can trust me. I’ll give you more fun than you’ve got fingers.
    Luckily,
    Pierre
    cc: Mrs. Lisa Clarke
    Mr. Clarke You are behind your rent, landlord says you owe two months says pay up rite away or out you go and the missus both.
    Sup’t

16
    c/o Gumbino
    311½ West 20 th Street
    New York 10011
    July 4
    Mr. George Ribbentraub
    Ribbentraub Realty Corp.
    414 East 14 th St.
    New York City
    Dear Mr. Ribbentraub:
    Let me take this opportunity to wish you and yours a happy Fourth of July. Of course the Fourth will have come and gone by the time you read this, but it is that very day now as I write this, and I can honestly claim to be moved by the spirit that inhabited the breasts of our founding fathers when they struck a blow for liberty and freedom.
    While I might have wished you a Safe and Sane Fourth in any case, I must confess that the main purpose of this letter is to apprise you of the fact that I have permanently vacated premises at 74 Bleecker St. I am accordingly enclosing herewith two keys, one to the vestibule and the other to the apartment. Another set of keys remains in the possession of my wife, Mrs. Laurence Clarke. She may be reached c/o American Express, Cuernavaca, Mexico. I don’t know the zip code, nor do I know whether appeals to her for the return of her set of keys are likely to meet with success. I tend to doubt it, as I have had no luck thus far in persuading her to send me $1480, which she seems to have taken along, like the keys, quite by mistake.
    I trust you will cancel my lease forthwith and will retain my one month’s security deposit in lieu of back rent and any other obligation that is mine under the terms of the lease. While it might dismay you to do this, I can really see no alternative