Rubbed Raw by Bella Jeanisse Page B

can’t,” he almost whispered. He was holding back so much pain. I could hear the strain in his voice.
    I lay my head on his shoulder and held him as close as I could. “I’m here for you when you’re ready.”
    Within seconds, he turned around and hugged me tightly. He buried his mouth in my hair. “I just can’t.” The words were a bit garbled, but I knew he was fighting tears.
    “I won’t push. It’s OK.” I rubbed his back as I felt him start to shake a little.
    It took some time, but after a while, he looked at me. “Thanks for understanding. I’ll tell you one day.”
    “OK.” I kissed his lips.
    He pulled me close again. “Can we talk about something else, please?”
    “Sure.” I thought for a few seconds. “Is there anything that’s too out there for you sexually?”
    He looked at me and shook his head. “That was some subject change.”
    “Well, is there?”
    “Um, I guess so, but I don’t think you’d be into those things either. I’m pretty open to new stuff, though. I’m sure you have fantasies I don’t know about yet that we can work on.”
    I sighed. “You helped me bring one of them to life.”
    “I know, but I don’t wanna talk about that.”
    “You wouldn’t even consider doing it again?”
    “Chad is not stepping one foot in this bedroom!” He yelled as he lay on his back.
    I closed my eyes, angry for mentioning it. “That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry. I know I hurt you.” A tear fell from my eye.
    “I didn’t mean it that way.” He pulled me up on top of him, and I gasped feeling incredible pain with the movement. “I just…” He took a deep breath, and I could feel him trying to relax. “I just don’t want his hands on you again.”
    I kissed his lips, trying to hide how much my thighs hurt. “I was thinking about with someone else one day.”
    “It’s too soon to talk about that. I can’t deal with it.”
    “OK, then why don’t you tell me one of your fantasies? You wouldn’t say a word that day we were all talking about them.”
    He blushed. “You know I can’t do that.”
    “Do you wanna have a threesome with another woman?”
    “Hell no!” Giovanni shouted. “Sorry. That just reminds me of my brother. I could never touch another girl while I’m with you.”
    “Do you want me to let you be with someone else alone?”
    “No.” He touched my face. “I told you. There’s no one else for me, and I don’t know how to separate sex and emotions. If I hadn’t been in love with you, there was no way I could’ve slept with you that first time. I told you I’ve only been with girls I dated. My fantasies are mostly one on one.”
    I talked as I kissed his neck. “So, can I make one of them come true?”
    “I think you can figure one of them out.”
    I thought as hard as I could. I knew he liked rough sex. I didn’t know how rough until the day before, though. Then it dawned on me he always told me he liked when I got rough with him.
    “You wanna be dominated, don’t you?”
    He blushed. “I guess you could call it that. I love when you shove me and force me to do what you want.” He sighed then ran his fingers over my back. “Would you tie me up?”
    “Sure.” I smiled as I imagined him helpless. “Do you have any others?”
    He rolled over on top of me. “Yeah, but I don’t think I should tell you. One of them could be painful, for you. The other, I’m not sure I really want to try.” He kissed my lips. “If we don’t get up now, we can’t go running.”
    When Giovanni and I walked into the studio hand in hand, I saw Chad move behind Jon. We walked to Chris, who had headphones on.
    Giovanni tapped his shoulder. “What you listening to?”
    Chris looked up and uncovered his ears. “It’s one of Gasoline’s new songs. Jon wanted me to hear how Dean goes from singing to screaming. He thinks we’re gonna need that on the song you wrote for your brother.”
    “OK,” Giovanni did sound interested, but then he looked away.