Samantha Kane by Brothers in arms 9 -Love's Surrender Page A

hands down to his sides while he smiled at
    a young girl saying something to him. He couldn’t hear her in the
    din of the orphanage, but the smile seemed to be the right
    response, and she ran off happily.
    It wasn’t that he didn’t like children. He did. He just had no idea
    what to do with them. He glanced over at Vanessa where she
    stood with a little toddler on her hip. It was easy to imagine that
    was his or Nick’s child she held. He liked that idea. He liked
    thinking of her big with their child, creating something inside her
    that came from the three of them together. The image, and the
    desire, shook his composure. He’d never wanted that before.
    Never imagined getting any woman with child and being happy
    Never imagined getting any woman with child and being happy
    about it.
    He turned away from her, trying to appear nonchalant. His
    nerves were frayed this morning. Last night with Nick had been
    shattering. He’d never felt like that. When Nick had taken him in
    his mouth he’d felt complete for the first time in his life. Nick had been with him al night and Oliver had relished it. Nick was his
    lover. Not just his best friend, but also the man he loved. A
    delicious shiver raced down his spine. It was almost perfect.
    Except the whole time both he and Nick had talked about how
    much better it would be if Vanessa had been there to see it. And
    they’d both meant it. They’d gone so far as to put off fucking
    each other until Vanessa could be with them.
    Oliver hadn’t expected to feel that way. He’d loved Nick for
    years. He’d fantasized about fucking him. He’d always believed
    that Nick would be enough when they finaly consummated their
    relationship. Oliver shouldn’t want anyone else. But he did.
    Whether he deserved them or not.
    And there was the rub.
    The inquisition by Vanessa’s aunt this morning had brought home
    his inadequacies with startlingly clarity. He was a man with
    nothing to recommend him except his charm and his prowess in
    bed. He doubted that was what either Vanessa or Nick truly
    wanted in a mate. Could men even mate with other men? And if
    wanted in a mate. Could men even mate with other men? And if
    there were three of them, were they mates? Or was there
    another word for a union of that nature? Triumvirate? No, the
    Latin clearly referred to “three men”, and was far too political.
    Tripod? Again no, as one of them was clearly lacking the extra
    “foot”. The linguistic semantics of the situation were mind-
    boggling.
    Oliver took a deep breath. He was babbling in his head, as he
    was wont to do when he was nervous. He looked up at Nick…
    Nick wasn’t there.
    He spun in a circle and didn’t see him. Where was he? Had he
    left? Was something wrong? Why couldn’t he see him? This was
    a smal room. Perhaps he was in the hal. Yes, he’d go look
    there. He began walking toward the door, but there were so
    many children. He tried not to step on them or push them aside.
    The wals seemed to be closing in on him and he couldn’t catch
    his breath.
    Stop it, stop it, stop it, he screamed in his head. He knew he
    was being irrational. Nick had told him time and again that he’d
    never leave him alone again. He promised, damn it. He
    promised.
    “Oliver.”
    He froze, his eyes closed. It was Nick. He turned around,
    He froze, his eyes closed. It was Nick. He turned around,
    breathing as if he’d run a mile. Nick stood there, his eyes
    apologetic. He touched Oliver’s arm lightly and then let his hand
    drop. “I was right over there,” he said, pointing to the far wal. “I just bent over to help some children. I’m sorry.”
    “Mr. Gabriel, are you al right?” Vanessa was at his side, a
    worried frown on her face. She linked arms with him, hugging
    him to her side.
    He should have been embarrassed. Instead he was vastly
    relieved at her physical reassurance. He held her arm tightly so
    she wouldn’t slip away, as Nick had had to do. “Yes, yes,