Sara Lost and Found by Virginia Castleman Page B

mumbles, “Thanks.” I wonder if she feels as torn as I do about leaving. We’re just starting to get used to the MacMillans. Pablo is the big brother we never had, and he can speak two languages! Mrs. MacMillan is nice and really seems to like us. Dr. Dan goes to faraway places to help kids. Their world is a bigger place than Anna and I have ever known, maybe ever will know. Still, as big as it is, it isn’t big enough for Anna and me to fit in it.
    â€œSneaker?” Anna looks hopeful, but Mrs. MacMillan shakes her head.
    â€œIf you’re talking about Sneaker coming with you, I’m sorry, sweetie. No cats. Mrs. Craig said that maybe when you get into a more permanent setting you can have a pet, but this isn’t a good time. I did ask, though.”
    â€œWill you be taking Sneaker with you?” I look up at Mrs. MacMillan, already knowing the answer.
    â€œI can’t lie to you, Sara. We won’t be taking Sneaker.”
    â€œWhen will Mrs. Craig come and get us?” I ask, crushed that Sneaker can’t come with us. I know I’ll have to find a place to hide her so she won’t get hurt or picked up by Animal Control.
    â€œMrs. Craig will be here early tomorrow morning.”
    â€œThat soon? I thought we were going to stay here longer.” I slump in my chair.
    â€œI thought so too, honey. But something has come up. A baby was born who’s very sick, and now that the other doctor is sick too, we’re going to have to leave for South America sooner than we’d expected.”
    Anna sits and stares at her doll.
    Mrs. MacMillan turns to the sink and starts running water and washing dishes. I follow Anna back to the table and sit across from her.
    â€œIt’s your fault that we have to move. I hope you know that,” I whisper.
    Anna’s stone face never changes expression. It’s like she doesn’t even hear me. “New plans,” she blurts hotly.
    â€œYeah, they have new plans, or so they say, but after you practically choked that kid to death, they probably made up all that sick-baby stuff so they can get rid of us sooner. You’re the reason nobody wants us, Anna. Nobody. Not even Mama or Daddy.”
    â€œNo like Anna?” she whispers. Pop, pop, pop. Doll parts fall to the floor until I want to reach across with my foot and smash every last one of them.
    â€œLife would be so much better—” I don’t finish the sentence. I don’t need to.
    Anna pulls Abby’s head off and hurls it across the room.
    *  *  *
    That night, I can’t sleep. How can I have said all those things to Anna? I sound just like Mama when she told me, “You’re just like him,” and then ran away.
    Anna can’t help the way she is. I wonder if what happened to her when we got separated that one time was what changed her. It’s as if when she got burned with the cigarettes, fear got burned into her. She’s like two people now. The Outside Anna and Inside Anna. I want the inside one, my sister, back. But still, inside . . . outside . . . I can’t shake the thought that she’s the real reason—not some job or sick baby—that we have to leave.

CHAPTER 12
    WHEN I ROLL OVER AND look at my sister, the moon casts a soft white glow against her skin. She looks so peaceful. So normal. I feel horrible all over again for getting so mad at her, and for saying I wished she would go away. And just like that, things change as she slips into a nightmare and starts thrashing and crying out.
    â€œAnna. Anna! Wake up.” She wakes up crying so hard, she wets the bed. That makes her cry even harder.
    â€œShhh.” I reach under the bottom sheet and grab the rainmaker to comfort her. When she’s calm, I tell her how I’ll get new sheets. “You see if you can find a box or something we can put these in.” I pile the soiled fitted sheet and top sheet up next to the