Scars of the Past by Kay Gordon Page B

her face.
    “Detective Bradley gave me this same card in the hospital.”
    She beamed. “David is my little brother. We grew up in a bad situation ourselves, so we both decided to do something about it for other people. His way is fighting it at the source, mine is damage control.”
    I looked at her and realized I did see quite the resemblance there. “You’re like a brother/sister superhero team.”
    She laughed and gave me a wink. “I hope to see you again, Maddie. You can call anytime if you need to.”
    When I got to my car I put the key in but didn’t start it. The group had helped- my chest felt lighter and it was morbidly nice to know I wasn’t alone. I pulled my phone out of my purse and text the girls to let them know I was on my way home.
    I made heat of the moment decision and pulled up Josh’s name, hitting the button to call him.
    He answered on the second ring, and sounded surprised.
    “Madelyn?”
    “Hey Josh. I’m sorry to bug you; I know it’s getting late.”
    He let out a low chuckle. “8:30 is hardly late when we were texting at the crack of dawn this morning. “
    I didn’t respond for a second as I let his deep voice wash over me. “Yeah, sorry about that. I don’t sleep well lately.”
    He paused for a few beats. “I’m sorry.”
    “No, don’t be, that’s not why I said that.” I took a deep breath. “I went to that group tonight.”
    “How was it?”
    “Actually, it was surprisingly… good. Helpful, even. I just wanted to thank you for giving me the information.”
    “Good. I’m really glad, Maddie.”
    We were quiet for a moment, and I didn’t know what to say. Gone were the days of easy, flowing conversation and instead it had been replaced with awkward silences.
    “I’ve missed you,” he said suddenly and softly.
    I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead on the steering wheel. “I don’t understand.”
    “I know you don’t, I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat. “Can I take you to dinner sometime, maybe explain some of it?”
    “What about Elizabeth?”
    He let out a frustrated noise. “Don’t worry about her, okay?”
    I chewed on my lip for a few moments. The thought of spending time with Josh gave me excited butterflies, and I wanted so badly to agree. I didn’t think I could be just friends with him, not yet. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Josh.”
    He exhaled audibly over the phone, and when he spoke again his voice sounded sad.
    “I understand.”
    “It’s just hard, seeing you with her. I’m sorry.”
    “No, you have nothing to be sorry for. I really do understand.”
    “Goodnight Josh.”
    “Sleep well, Madelyn.”
    I put my phone on the seat next to me, and it felt like a rock had taken place in the pit of my stomach. As much as I wantd to spend time with him, I had to do what I needed to protect my heart from breaking a second time.

Chapter Nine
    If I thought attending the support group would help me sleep, I quickly learned that it did almost the opposite. Although I felt better during the day, at night it was like a band-aid had been ripped off prematurely and wound beneath it just oozed.
    I started to dread falling asleep, and learned quickly how to function on just a couple of hours a night. As my brother would put it, I was a functional zombie.
    As if he was respecting my wishes, Josh and I hadn’t communicated again since that night in my car. Even still, I couldn’t help getting my hopes up every time my phone chimed and I felt the disappointment when it wasn’t him.
    The rest of that week had trudged by slowly, and the weekend was even worse. I worked the two jobs with Amanda that weekend, and one of them had gone on until well after midnight. I had spent most of Sunday in bed, trying to pick up whatever sleep I could.
    The next week I didn’t participate in group, too tired to do anything but listen. After the group was over I walked up to Sarah and gave her a pleading look.
    “I don’t sleep well, and it’s