Sebastian (The Beck Brothers #2) by Andria Large Page A

needed air. He pushed through the office doors and
out to the lobby where the elevators were. He would take a long lunch; maybe by
the time he got back, he would be calm, and Margot would be done with her phone
call.
     
     
     
     
    Chapter 7
     
      Sebastian hated funerals - he
hated wearing a suit, he hated all the crying and wailing, he hated everything
about them - but he had to go. It was Victoria's funeral, and his family insisted
on going with him, every single one of them. Henry and Claire. His parents.
Even Quinn and Christian. He was touched, and glad that they were there for him
when he needed them. He was thankful that he didn’t have to ask for the support
he so desperately needed, since he couldn't find the voice to ask.
     
      After the viewing and mass,
everyone headed to the cemetery. Standing there, beside her grave, Sebastian
found it hard to breathe. His mother was holding his right hand, while Claire
clung to his left arm. Henry, who was next to Claire, had his hand on
Sebastian's shoulder. He and his family stood on one side of the grave, while
her family stood on the other side. Her mother couldn't even stand; she was
sitting in a folding chair, clutching Victoria's favorite stuffed rabbit that
she kept on their bed when they were together. She never went anywhere without
it. When they went to her hotel room to gather her things, it was there.
     
      After the priest did his thing,
they started lowering the casket. Sebastian felt like his heart was being
ripped out all over again. His throat closed and his eyes stung. He couldn't
hold back the ragged sob that tore out of him. He clapped his left hand over
his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut. He had loved Victoria with all his heart
at one time and nothing prepared him for seeing her body being lowered into the
ground.
     
      His mother's arms wrapped around
his waist and he instinctively hugged her to him. His father gripped his right
shoulder and gave him a reassuring squeeze. Henry was doing the same on his
other side. Sebastian wished Raelynn was here with him right now. He could
really use her comfort right about now.
     
      When all was said and done,
Sebastian and his family left the cemetery. He wasn't going to go to the
luncheon. He couldn't sit there with her family and their accusatory glares. He
knew they thought that her death was his fault. That much was obvious. He went
to Jared the day after her death, and every day for the past three days, slowly
understanding that it really wasn't his fault. But he would never get her
family to understand that.
     
      Sebastian walked into his
apartment. Henry dropped him off after he said he just wanted to be alone. He
yanked the knot of his tie and pulled it over his head. After tossing it on the
counter, he worked open the buttons of the stiff white collar. He shrugged out
of his jacket and hung it over the back of a stool. Sebastian went to the
bottom cabinet of the island that he used as a liquor cabinet and pulled out
the unopened bottle of Jack Daniels.
     
      Foregoing a glass, Sebastian took
the bottle into the living room and sat in his brown leather recliner. He
planned to drink himself stupid. He wanted to forget everything for one night.
He needed to, if he wanted to keep his sanity. He needed to sleep without
dreaming. He had woken up with more nightmares in the past few days than he has
in his entire thirty-three years, and they were the kind of nightmares that had
him screaming, panting, and sweating. Then he'd be awake for hours, afraid to
fall back to sleep. Jared said he had PTSD. No surprise there.
     
      About three-quarters through the
bottle, Sebastian was feeling nice and numb. His mind was blissfully blank, although
the room was swaying beneath him. He was actually surprised that he hadn't
passed the fuck out yet. That was coming soon, he could feel it. He needed to
make a call before he passed out, though. He struggled to get his phone out of
his pocket. When he