Secretly More by Lux Zakari Page A

before his shift, interrupting Kimber privately reliving the evening for what had to be the thousandth time since it happened. He slid onto a stool and stretched his arms in front of him, staring at his hands like they were a Chinese math problem. “Hey,” he said after a few moments, his eyes flickering to her then away again. He looked like he’d suffered through a restless night.
    Kimber chalked up his discomfort to how awkward things had been between them lately, but suddenly, their lack of seeing eye to eye seemed inconsequential. “Hello.” She captured his hands in hers, ignoring how he jolted at her touch, and sighed with happiness. “Have fun last night?”
    “Um, yeah.” He stared at their hands. “It was okay.” Finally, his gaze lifted to hers. “Did you?”
    “I did.” A smile twitched on her lips and she looked away, afraid she’d burst into peals of giddy, uncontrollable laughter. She cleared away a few empty glasses, humming to herself.
    “Really?” Jay straightened in his seat. “What, uh… I mean, what happened?”
    She dug her teeth into her lower lip. “You don’t want to know.”
    “Yeah, I do.”
    “You really don’t. You wouldn’t approve.”
    He took a deep breath. “I promise I won’t be judgmental. Come on. You can tell me.”
    It was then that Kimber realized how badly she needed to talk to someone about what had happened. Who better than her best friend in the world? She turned to face Alison, who was flirting for tips in her low-cut black top. “Al, I’m going to take my break early, okay?”
    “Yep.” Alison waved her away, leaning over the counter toward the sixty-something-year-old man she was talking to and purring with interest to whatever he said.
    Kimber clocked out and scurried around the bar to meet Jay, linking her arm around his and tugging him through the rows of slot machines until they were outside on the patio that faced the horse track. After glancing around to ensure they were alone, she turned to him with a grin. “Jay, last night was the most amazing night of my life.”
    His mouth dropped open. “What happened?”
    “I can’t tell you the details.” She looked away, dying to tell him in order to relive the moment via conversation. “It’d be rude.”
    “It wouldn’t.” Jay grabbed her upper arm, forcing her to make eye contact. “Really. I want to know.”
    “Well…” She swallowed hard, buying herself some time to put her chaotic, passionate thoughts in order. “Moquest sent me upstairs and blindfolded me, remember? So I was in his room, honestly not expecting much—just a little making out and stuff. But…”
    “But?”
    “But I don’t know.” Kimber sighed and slapped her palm to her forehead, unable to prevent a smile. “Let’s just say I just got carried away. And you know what’s weird? Even though I was acting totally unlike myself, I never felt more true to who I am.”
    “What do you mean?” Jay stared at her, like she was a mystery that desperately needed solving.
    “I can’t explain it. It just felt right. I won’t go into details, but it really was amazing.” Her face grew warm. “You want to know something that’s sort of sad?”
    “What?” His voice sounded rusty.
    “I felt more cherished and desired—understood, even—in that one moment that I had during my entire relationship with Dane.” She laughed, although nothing was funny. “Isn’t that crazy?”

    * * *
     

    Jay called upon every fiber of his being not to reach out and kiss her in a way that would make her feel incredible and valued again. “That’s not so crazy. That’s pretty cool. You’re lucky.”
    A series of complex, undefined emotions played over her features, and Jay couldn’t believe that this girl—the girl he’d loved for years—was the one he’d been inside last night, the one he’d felt come around his cock after so long dreaming of just that. He looked away, afraid he’d crack and confess.
    It was confusing, to