Secrets in the Lyrics by S.M. Donaldson

the SUV and run
     to a trash can, emptying the food I ate late last night from my stomach.
                  Gable steps to my side, rubbing my back.  “Babe, are you sure you want to do this?”
                  I nod.  “Yes, I have to.”  I reach in my purse and grab some gum.  “Okay, let’s go. 
     I looked and they are only visiting certain hours today because of the holiday.”
                  Twenty minutes later, we’ve been searched, our belongings have been checked in and
     we’ve been patted down so many times I think I need a cigarette.
                  We sit down at a small table waiting for my dad to come out.  I hold Gable’s hand
     under the table.  Once my dad enters the room, I realize how much he’s changed in
     the past few years.  He looks so much older and tired.
                  He sits across from us.  “Ivie.  I have to say, I’m surprised by this visit.”
                  “Yeah well, I needed to know what all you know about the Chad situation.”
                  “Is that the only reason for this visit?”
                  “No.  I have a few other things to say, but I want to know the other first.”
                  He nods to Gable.  “Who is he?”
                  “Dad, this is Gable.  He’s in the band with me and one of my best friends.”  I feel
     Gable flinch, but I turn my attention back to my dad.
                  “Once people asked me about you, I found out what he’d done.  Then I found out that
     some, let’s just say, influential people had been made aware of the situation.  He
     was informed to stay clear of you.  He decided not to listen to that advice and attacked
     you.  Yes, he is in jail now, but if he’s ever released, watch out for yourself. 
     He’s desperate and won’t think anything of taking you to hell with him.  If he gets
     out again, they’ll kill him.  So please, just lookout for yourself.”
                  I roll my eyes.  “I always have.  So anything else?”
                  He shakes his head.  “Just I’m sorry.”
                  “Look, I just want to say some things and then I’m going to go.”  He nods.  “I think
     you and mom were really shitty to me.  I walked around feeling like you guys hated
     me.  Then, when you went to prison and told me to get better grades, it proved you
     never knew anything about me.  I was at the top of my class, even though I never really
     had parents to guide me.”  I swipe a stray tear I didn’t realize was falling until
     it hit my cheek.  “Then, I had an aunt who treated me like a common whore.  She said
     I was no better than my mother and she always made it painfully obvious that I was
     a bother to her.  So, I quit caring, and once I got kicked out of school, she kicked
     me out.”  I shake my head.  “I guess I’m just saying I’m pissed, and maybe you can’t
     see past your own problems, but the shit you and mom did to me started a cycle.  I
     know you said you are sorry for being a shitty father, but sometimes words don’t cover
     it.”
                  He nods and I swear I see tears in his eyes.  “I’m sorry, I know that doesn’t cover
     it.  I didn’t know your aunt was treating you that way.  She always made it seem to
     me like you were a rough teen and that your grades were in the shitter.”
                  “My grades started out great, but once I lived with her for a little while, she constantly
     reminded me that the only reason I was there was because of my check.  That she hated
     my mother, even though she was her sister.  I didn’t care anymore and yes, my grades
     went to shit.  As a sophomore, I already had colleges looking at me for their medical
     programs, but I lost all of that.”
                  We make small