Sex Practice by Ray Gordon Page B

saved
a marriage!" she called.
    "That's
comforting. Goodbye, Mrs Cravings."
    "Goodbye,
Doctor!"
    Placing the
candles on the shelf, Larry smiled. If only all his clients were
like Mrs Cravings, he reflected. Tidying the bondage room, he gazed
at the window, imagining Monica making her escape, her ample
buttocks ballooning as she climbed through the window. Better ring
the old hag and find out what she was up to, he decided, walking to
his consulting room.
    "Hi, Monica,
it's Larry," he said, sitting on the edge of his desk as she
answered her phone.
    "What do you
want?" she asked angrily.
    "I was just
wondering why you didn't come in today, are you ill?"
    "Ill? Of
course I'm not ill! After what happened yesterday, do you honestly
expect me to come back?"
    "What happened
yesterday?"
    "You know very
well! Brigit locked me in that disgusting room of yours!"
    "Did she? This
is the first knowledge I have of the alleged incident."
    "You didn't
know?"
    "No, I didn't.
She must have inadvertently locked the door, not realizing that you
were in there."
    "Inadvertently?"
    "You know how
forgetful she can be, Monica."
    "Yes, yes I
know."
    "She suffers
from retention loss. Also, the door has a tendency to lock itself.
I really must get it seen to, I spent three weeks in there
once."
    "Three weeks?
Why didn't you climb out of the window?"
    "I don't have
your ingenuity, your resourcefulness. Were you a desert rat?"
    "My
grandfather was."
    "That explains
your ability to survive and escape imprisonment."
    "You were
extremely rude to me! You said that my breasts were like two
shrivelled up empty leather..."
    "That was only
my little joke, Monica! You know what I'm like, always cracking
disgusting jokes at other people's expense and revelling in their
plight. Come back and we'll sort things out."
    "I don't know
whether I should. You threatened to have me certified insane!"
    "Another silly
joke. You're the epitome of sanity."
    "What did the
police say?"
    "They said
that we have a fine establishment here. I told them that it was
your doing - the efficiency, the methodicalness."
    "Obviously,
you didn't show them your secret room."
    "Yes, I did.
They were most impressed by the fine range of equipment we have.
They praised your work, said that you might be in line for an
OBE."
    "Of course
they didn't!"
    "They did! We
miss you, Monica - please, come back. The place won't run
efficiently without you. I'll double your salary, how's that?"
    "Well, I do
need the money. All right, I'll come back now."
    "Good! It will
be so good to see you again. I'll go and tell Brigit."
    "All right,
I'll be there soon - goodbye."
    Banging the
phone down, Larry dashed to reception to find Brigit. "Monica's on
her way here!" he cried excitedly.
    "Monica? What,
after all that's happened?"
    "Yes! This is
our chance to imprison her!"
    "But... Larry,
I don't think it a good idea to lock her up! It's illegal!"
    "Yes, that's
the brilliant part of the plan, the illegality of it! Never again
will she be able to cause me problems! I'm sure she's been spying
for Gina Cology."
    "Why not have
her working in reception, as she did, and be a little more discrete
about your sexual antics?"
    "But that's
not as much fun as tying her to the examination couch and thrashing
her bum with the cane!"
    "It might not
be as much fun, but you can't keep her locked up forever. What
about the cost of feeding her."
    "I hadn't
thought of that," Larry sighed.
    "There's the
heating, too. We'd have to keep it on all night in the winter."
    "That would be
expensive. And I suppose we'd have to give her Christmas
dinner."
    "We'd have to
escort her to the loo. It would be like having to look after a
child!"
    "Yes, you're
right, Brigit - it would cost a small fortune in toilet rolls. All
right, I'll keep my escapades a secret from now on. How's the
appointments book looking?"
    "Er... you
have a schoolgirl from The Sacred Bloodied Heart of Our Lady of the
Damned Convent arriving shortly."
    "Really? Oh,
Good! Right,