Shadows of the Ancients by Christine M. Butler Page B

feel like my life is not my own all of a sudden.”
    “Good, because aside from me being in it, your life was pretty boring and lame. You needed something to shake things up, and you definitely needed a special someone to do the shaking.” She thought for a minute as she pulled out a beautiful blue silk shirt that had a ribbon closure on the top, leaving a teardrop opening that would dip almost down to the middle of my breasts. “This is the one! He’ll love it. It’s flirty, sexy, and still modest enough for you, Jess.” She shrugged as she added, “besides, my boobs don’t really fit in it.”
    I rolled my eyes at her, but secretly I was jumping for joy. I’d always wanted to try that blouse on for size. “So, what do you think of Evan?”
    “Um, I never got to talk to him yet, remember? I just saw how he tried to become one with you at the bar, but I have to say, I approved of that. Lord knows, it’s about time someone got you all hot and bothered!”
    I groaned. I know she meant well, but I always felt like a kid next to Ashley, even though I was technically a few months older than her. “I keep forgetting you weren’t there today for pack business.”
    “Not yet.” She said offhandedly. “Maybe one of these days soon though.” I took note of the glazed look that crossed her face. “I wonder if I’d transition as smoothly as Jack?”
    “You never know, Ashley.” I tried to sound positive when I said it, because there was a huge part of me that wanted it to be true. I needed Ashley to be by my side in this life, for my whole, unnaturally extended life.
    “I just worry. What if I try, and I don’t make it? What if I didn’t live enough and it’s all for nothing, and I just cease to exist?”
    “Oh, Ashley, let’s not think about that right now. If and when you are ready, we will try. I think your chances of becoming a wolf are phenomenal after watching Jack go through it.”
    My phone went off indicating that I had an incoming text. “Later isn’t soon enough. I want to see you now!” A stupid grin broke out across my face. Ashley noticed, and smiled at me.
    “I take it that was lover boy?”
    “Ash, I’ve been swept away by how I feel around him.” The grin slowly seeped away, replaced by the worry that creased across my brow.
    “How is that a bad thing?”
    “It’s literally been a day, and when he says this,” I turned the phone to show her my text. “I want to leap up and run down to the club to see him too.”
    “Again, I’m not seeing the downside here.”
    “You know, I’ve always worried about losing myself like some of the women I’ve seen, where all they live for is the wolf they mated. They cook and clean, they have his babies, but they have no identity of their own anymore. I don’t want to be swallowed up whole by someone who’s larger than life.”
    “Jess,” Ashley came over to wrap her arms around me, “you could never be swallowed up by anyone else’s presence, your own is way too big for that.” She pushed the blue blouse into my hand again, “Now, go get dressed. It is okay to be excited, and invigorated by something new. You’ve never really been interested in someone before. It’s okay to get carried away in the feeling of it, Jess. I promise. I will be here to reign you in if I see you start to look like a Stepford Wife or something, okay?”
    “I’m going to hold you to that.” I stood and walked to the bathroom with my outfit in hand.
    Fifteen minutes later I was still standing there awestruck by the way the shirt looked on me. It was like the damn thing had been custom designed to highlight everything I needed it to. There was the added bonus that the shirt was almost the identical cobalt blue color of Evan’s eyes. I had to mentally make myself pull it together when the thought of Evan’s eyes led me to think about being back in his arms, and how it felt when I had been leaning against his solid chest, feeling his arms around me. I imagined