She Survived by M. William Phelps Page A

decision about where she wanted to go with her spirituality.
    â€œThat taught me that we actually all believe in some higher being, yet we all call it by a different name, and practice it in different forms. It also taught me that I don’t necessarily need to be sitting in a building every Sunday to say I am a Christian.”
    What got her through—and still continues to, in so many ways—was that humorous bone within her, and comedy in general.
    â€œAs I have mentioned, since I could not sleep after the attack, I spent every night watching Comedy Central. I could not stand the thought of watching any channel that might have anything dramatic on, and I felt that laughter was the only thing that would not remind me of what just happened. I also kept watching because I knew that they often showed clips of people like George Lopez, Marc Maron, and others I had met and came to know, and that gave me a kind of comfort.”
    There was a point where Melissa had made humorous comments about the attack, even on the night of the attack while in the hospital. Again, this mechanism, while not something other survivors of violent attacks might agree with or relate to, was something that worked for her. It gave more credence to the argument that not all rape, sexual assault, or violent attack survivors will react to his or her situation and the extenuating trauma in the same way.
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    The fact that I was making jokes the night of the attack was, in no way, me making light of my situation, or anyone else’s. It was a pure survival tactic. I had to engage my brain in such a way to keep it functioning and analytical if I wanted to prevent myself from having a complete breakdown.
    As the paramedic pointed out to the ER doctor, I was alert and coherent because I was cracking jokes. For someone who had just taken as many blows to the head as I had, it was the only way I knew to stay awake and stay sharp.
    Melissa and her good friend, actor/comedian Marc Maron. ( Photo courtesy of Libby Bieszk )
    There was one Comedy Central show in particular that Melissa found incredibly comforting. She watched Short Attention Span Theater several times a day while recuperating. It was hosted by the then-relatively-unknown comic Marc Maron. The series would show several different clips of several different comedians on a rotating basis.
    â€œI loved watching that show,” Melissa recalled. “I got to see several of the greats, and the ones that people would never guess would become huge successes, such as Jim Carrey, Robin Williams, et cetera. But the host intrigued me. He was a good comic in his own right, but was never given much time to do any substantial material. But here was this show that got me through so much, because it took my mind completely off the pain and fear, and allowed me to laugh out loud and learn even more about comedians I hadn’t heard of yet. And, yes, it also showed clips of my friend George [Lopez], which cheered me up.”

CHAPTER 28
    SERIAL OFFENDER
    Ask Becky Buttram what she thinks of Scott Saxton and the now-retired detective holds nothing back: “He is a slimy little bastard. He has completely fooled a lot of people because he appears so weak, but that rage inside of him, I don’t know where it came from.”
    While serving time in jail, Saxton’s wife tried smuggling some “things,” Buttram said, into the prison for him. She got caught—and was arrested and jailed.
    â€œShe never believed us,” Buttram explained, referring to Saxton’s wife believing he had nothing to do with any of the charges.
    Buttram saw an incredibly violent, dangerous repeat offender where Scott Saxton was concerned. She still believes that he will strike again if released from jail. She doesn’t believe Saxton will ever stop.
    â€œIt goes back to that stuff up north,” Buttram explained, adding how the crimes he committed before Melissa’s attack spoke