Sleep Peacefully by NC Marshall Page B

was always pushing him away. He
couldn’t get through the barriers that she had built up around herself anymore.
He looked so tired. It had broken my heart to see him in the state that he was
in. I think that at that stage he had lost both the strength and determination
to keep trying anymore.
    At
that point, I remember feeling guilty at the fact I was so happy with my own
life, while my sister’s was steadily falling apart around her. I left the apartment
that night feeling a strange sense of gratitude for what I had. I hoped and
prayed as I never had before, that Jess would get herself pulled back together.
Hopefully, with some professional help, her life would be built back up,
bringing back with it the woman that she used to be.
    Unfortunately,
that never happened.
     
    Back
in the present day, and at this moment in time, I don’t possess the same
feelings for Matt that I once had. Up until now, I had felt sorry for this broken
man who had lost the love of his life and had been left battling for a new
start, forced to face the world alone. Now, I’m not so sure that everything is
as black and white anymore. My confusion is growing, and with it I am beginning
to develop a feeling of unease around him, which I admit is totally
unjustified. I hadn’t yet allowed him to tell his side of the story, but I
can’t shake the feelings I am having. I’ve known Matt his whole life, but I am
now wondering if I truly know him at all. Once again, I scold myself about
these feelings, I know that there is not one ounce of real and substantial
evidence in sight.
    Matt
comes back over to the sofa and hands me a cup of tea. I take a sip too hastily
and burn my tongue. Ouch damn it! Matt balances himself on the arm of
the chair opposite where I sit as he looks at me, cocking his head, as if
wordlessly questioning my reason for being here.
    “I’ve
had another dream,” I say bluntly, wanting to get quickly to the point for both
our sakes. My voice is monotone. I barely recognise my own dark, heartless
sound. Matt looks concerned and moves forward towards me. I edge away from him.
The move is only slight, but I still think he’s noticed.
    “The
recurring one you've been having... about Jess?” he asks, nodding, apparently
interested in what I have to say. I know that Ryan told him about the dreams a
while ago, so am not surprised by his knowledge of the matter.
    “Yeah,
only it’s not recurring anymore,” I say, glaring at him hard and straight in
the eye, holding my stare. “The dream has moved on. It’s changed now and taken
a turn that has quite honestly freaked me out a bit.”
    “What
kind of turn?” Matt asks, moving forward and putting his coffee down steadily
on the table, frowning. I resist the urge to back myself any further away from
him.
    “Jess
called you, the night she fell, asking you to go and meet her. Were you there,
Matt? The night she died, did you go to see her?” I ask.
    The
question snaps out of my mouth before I even have a chance to control my words.
One part of me instantly wants to take it back, to pretend nothing is wrong,
but another is relieved that I had the vigour to ask.
    Matt’s
mouth drops open and a look of utter astonishment momentarily crosses his face.
He looks as though I just stabbed him in the chest with a red hot poker. I now
know I have his full attention as I proceed to tell him the whole dream, in
detail, describing the images just as I had seen them. I fall silent when I
finish, and wait anxiously for his reply.
    Matt’s
response isn’t quite as I had pictured. After staying quiet for a few seconds,
he suddenly erupts, his face red with fury. I see a glimpse of a side of him
that I would never have imagined he possessed. He stands up, abruptly folding
his arms and then places one hand under his chin. He paces the floor back and
forth in front of me, before finally responding to my shock accusation.
    “So
you think that I lied to the police, and to everybody else that I’d