So Many Reasons Why by Missy Johnson Page A

that would
be enough to strain any relationship.
    “I’m sorry, I'm not yelling at you. I'm just angry at the
situation. Can you tell me your mother wouldn't have a problem with you dating
someone my age?” I couldn't tell him that. I had no idea how my mom would
react. I had no idea how she'd react to me dating anyone, other than Tom.
    “I get it.” I pulled myself away from him. I did get it.
There were all the reasons in the world for us not to be together. Yet I
couldn't move past the reasons why we should. “Believe me, I get it. Honestly
though? I don’t care. I haven’t felt this way about anyone. I don’t give a shit
who has a problem with us being together.” Again, he reached for my hand.
I didn't stop him. “If you do though, then I get it.”
    “I don’t care. Not about the age. I need to consider it
though. I can’t just jump into this and pretend there is nothing on the line.”
I felt myself nodding. Frustration, anxiety, confusion, I felt all that. More
than anything though I felt upset that he didn’t think I was worth the risk.
    “I still want to be friends with you Em. I need you in my
life. I've never met anyone like you, yet I know so little about you.”
    For the briefest moment, I was relieved. With all the feelings
coursing through me, I couldn’t handle not seeing him at all. What the hell was
wrong with me? I'd known this guy for all of a week, and I couldn’t handle life
without him?
    “Okay. On one condition.” I finally said, desperate to
diffuse the intensity of the moment. He looked at me willingly and nodded.
     “Anything.” He agreed. I held up Pretty Woman .
    “You watch this with me. Without any snide comments.” I
added, catching his look of disgust. He rolled his eyes.
    “Fine, but this is punishment.” He grumbled. “I don't know
why girls love this so much anyway. It's a story about a hooker and a creepy
old man.” He yelped as I kicked him in the thigh. How dare anyone speak ill of
Richard Gere.
     

Chapter Ten
    Since the decision to be no more than friends had been made
we had spent lots of time watching movies and eating takeaway. Simon told me
about some of his cases, which I loved hearing about. He had been over every
night, mostly late, after he’d finished work. Niggling thoughts in the back of
my head tried to convince me he must want more than friendship, wanting to be
around me so often, but I tried my best to silence them.
    To be honest, I welcomed the distraction as the parole hearing
neared. Derek still found his way into my thoughts, and my nightmares daily.
Doctor Mellow had me working through each thought from beginning to end. His
idea was that maybe I could file away some of the thoughts permanently if I
gave them an ending. 
    Simon’s presence gave me another focus. For me, nothing had
changed. I was falling for him, and he was sticking to his damn promise that we
would only remain friends. The more I got to know him, the more I wanted him. I
wasn't sure how much longer I could just be friends with this guy. He had done
something in the last ten days that nobody had been able to do in the past
seven years, and he’d known me for only a week.
    He made me forget. Even just for the briefest of moments, I
wasn't the girl who had been raped, or the girl who had been lucky to survive
horrific injuries. I wasn't the girl who felt she had no place in the world. I
was me.
    Emma.
    When I was with Simon I felt wanted. I felt needed. Even if
that need could never be fulfilled, it was still there.
    The sliding door squealed as I slid it open. Wide open. I
sat in the doorway, the feel of the wind blowing in my face, the security of
the frame my only protection. My eyes closed. I focused on the good. I could
hear the birds above me. It sounded like they’d created a nest in the roof.
Tiny little chirps sang out in unison. I could hear the downtown traffic in the
distance. Horns, sirens. Sounds that made me anxious and upset. Voices sang out
around