Somewhere in My Heart by Jennifer Scott Page B

absolved.”
     
    Billie insisted, “We should put it to rest, so we can go on living our normal lives.  But, you know I meant what I said to you on my wedding day.  I will admit that I avoided you before that. I wouldn’t talk to you when we were all in Houston.  Ricky didn’t know about us at the time.  He figured it out later.  He wasn’t upset with you; he was upset with me for lying to him. He has accepted it because I have convinced him that I am over it.” 
     
    Chris pleaded, “Are you really?  I don’t want you to be traumatized.” 
     
    Billie argued, “I don’t think I need a shrink, if that’s what you are implying.  I am leading a normal life.  I am married to the man of my dreams, living in the greatest city in the country, and am about to have a baby with a man I love more than anything.” 
     
    Chris tried to get her to open up, “Yes, but don’t you feel like something is not quite right?” 
     
    Billie feared, “I’m not sure I know what you mean.” 
     
    Chris pronounced, “I know that you still feel uneasy when I am around you.  I know that you worry about Joy and how I am treating her.  There is the part of you that still sees me as a drunk and an alleged murderer.  I wish you could learn to see the real me and how I really am.”  Billie knew he was right and so she did the only thing she could think of, to hug him. 
     
    While she was hugging him, Ricky walked up to the hot tub. 
     
    He complained, “It is a little too hot in here for my taste.”
     
    Billie knew Ricky was jumping to conclusions.  He was misled because he knew of her history with Chris.  He couldn’t possibly doubt her love for him. But, she had to go explain things to him.  Chris decided to go see Joy. 
     
    Billie caught up with Ricky in their room.  She lectured, “Why did you say that?  That is all we need, for our friends to think we don’t trust each other.” 
     
    Ricky demanded, “You should be more worried about your husband not trusting you, instead of everyone else.  Your actions speak louder than words.  You may be giving someone the wrong idea.  Chris is not the person you should be messing with, he's unstable.  Don’t you remember what he has done to you?  Do you want that to happen again?  I don’t want to see him put his hands on you ever again.” 
     
    Billie added, “I thought we were clear on that subject.  You know how he has changed and doing much better.  Joy would not be with him if he were still verbally or physically abusive.  I believe that he has improved and you should, too.  He is a great guy, and you should give him a chance.”
     
    Ricky ordered, “I don’t know if I can do that.  I thought he was over you.  But, after I saw him hugging you tonight, I am not so sure.  He still has a lot of issues to work out.  I will be keeping an eye on him and I think you should watch your back as well.”
     
    Billie suggested, “I think I should leave you alone before we say something that we will regret.  I hate having disputes with you.  I never want us to argue again.”  She left the room, wondering what Ricky was contemplating.  She wondered if he would assume she was running to Chris.  That was the last thing on her mind. 
     
    She wanted to really think about how her past involvement with Chris was affecting her life.  Chris was the one who had pointed it out.  It never bothered her until he mentioned it.  She had to discover her true feelings about it, the ones she had tried to mask.  If she didn’t, it could affect her relationship with Chris, Joy, and most especially, Ricky.  She walked over to a railing and looked at the waves.  She started thinking about the nights she sat on the beach and looked off in to the distance, at Ricky’s house.  Then, it reminded her of the night Chris attacked her.  She tried to think of a more pleasant thought, but just kept thinking about that. She wanted to make sure she was never hurt