Stanton Bliss: Stanton by T L Swan Page A

“You may meet someone else and fall madly in love.”
    “And then what?” I dare him to go on, angry that I’m so in love with someone who is emotionally unavailable.
    “Then I will mourn the loss of you.” His eyes hold mine. “It will be the biggest regret of my life.”
    Fury starts to pump through my blood. He’s willing to take that risk. I sit still, unable to talk, unable to articulate what it is that I want to say. I don’t even know what to think. I knew he wasn’t ready and that’s why I pushed him away. And now he is being totally honest and all I want to do is beg him to come back to me. Hell, this is one fucked up situation.
    His eyes hold mine. “Say something,” he begs.
    I shake my head and stare at him through blurry eyes. “There’s nothing to say Nicholas,” I whisper through my hurt.
    He grabs my hand again and lifts it up to kiss the back of it. “Can we stay in contact, please? I need to hear your voice.”
    I frown and rip my hand from his grip. What he is telling me is that he doesn’t want me but wants to hold me on ice until he’s ready.
    “No,” I reply coldly.
    His face falls.
    “Don’t call me, don’t visit me.”
    “Adrian, no,” he whispers.
    “Nick.” I pause. “I can’t be the reserve. I can’t be the backstop. If you come back to me, come back to me with a full heart, not half a heart.” My voice cracks as hurt pierces through my chest. “I deserve a full heart, Nicholas, because that’s what I give.”
    His eyes tear up. “I know, babe.”
    I stand in a rush. “I’m leaving.” I need to get out of here before I make a full-blown fool of myself and beg him to stay. I look around for Peter, where is he? I see him against the wall, signal that I’m leaving, and point to the door. He nods.
    I leave the club in a rush and jump in a cab with Peter. I don’t look back and I don’t wait for Nicholas. My heart just couldn’t bear it.
     
    It’s three am, I have been for a swim and am now in the shower. Nicholas’ door was shut when I came in from the pool, so he must have come home and gone straight to bed.
    I’m crushed, but also relieved at the same time. I did the right thing. I had regretted my decision to push him away, but he just confirmed what I knew all along. I wish I could talk to the girls. I think I might go next door and crawl into bed with Bridget. We can nurse our broken hearts together. I need to be with my people and lick my wounds.
    The bathroom door opens and I turn. Nicholas stands amongst the steam in a pair of boxer shorts.
    My breath catches but I don’t cover up. I want him to see what he’s missing out on. This body was his once.
    He closes the door behind him and walks over to the shower. It’s a walk in shower with no screen door and double showerheads.
    His eyes drop, searching hungrily down my body, and I feel the pull of his arousal.
    “Adrian,” he whispers as his haunted eyes look straight through my soul.
    I stare at him. “I need to say goodbye to you properly. He whispers.”
    I swallow the lump in my throat as my eyes drop to the obvious erection in his shorts.
    He moves forward and his thumb brushes over my nipple and up to cup my face.
    “Let me say goodbye, my love.” He leans in and takes my lips in his. We kiss, slowly, his tongue tentatively meeting mine. “I need to say goodbye.” He whispers again, and I feel the blood rush to my cock as my body goes into sensory overdrive. “I need you.”
    My eyes close. Oh God, I need him, too.
    “Adrian, please. I’m begging, let me say goodbye to you.”
    That’s it, I can’t take it. I grab the back of his head, pull him into the shower and pin him up against the wall. We kiss almost violently, and I rip his shorts down his legs only to be rewarded with his huge, thumping penis stretching up against his stomach. His dark skin is rippled with muscles and my hand runs over his abs and down to his cock where I begin to stroke him hard. He hisses in approval as