Stardust Miracle by Edie Ramer Page A

whipped up to his face. He didn’t let go of her hand, and she released the spoon, her fingers nerveless, her heart fluttering wildly.
    “I want to be more than a friend.”
    She opened her mouth but no words came out. It wasn’t that her voice was stuck. It was her brain.
    Are you crazy? Look at me. I’m seven years older than you. You could have a twenty-one year old if you put some effort into it.
    Another part of her was picking out something sexy to wear to bed with him.
    “Jim was a jerk to cheat on you,” he went on, in the voice men used when they were on the edge of desperation. When they really wanted to convince the other person of something. A voice she never expected to hear from Derek. Or any man. She wasn’t the kind of woman men said that to. She was too...unexciting. Too ordinary.
    But she nodded for him to go on. That she was listening. Boy, was she listening. She felt oddly composed now, though her heart thundered inside her chest. As if she were watching a movie where the leading man said this to an older actress, and Becky was waiting for the actress to answer him...rooting for him. Wanting him to have his happy ever after.
    “I know it’s early,” he continued, “but can you tell me if there’s a chance you’ll feel the same way about me?”
    A moment went by while she stared at him. Waiting for the actress to answer him.
    At the table behind them, someone laughed. A waitress threaded between tables, carrying two plates with pasta and some kind of meat that smelled like oregano and mozzarella. Two of her favorite smells.
    “If it’s ‘no,’” he said, his voice so low she had to lean in to hear him, “then tell me. I’ll still be your friend.”
    Damn it. She’d have to answer. She put her hand over her forehead and leaned in another inch. “It is too early.” And then seeing the stillness in his face, the tension in his clenched jaws, she hurriedly said, “But, yes. There’s a chance.”
    He sat back, smiling, his shoulders loosening, his back taller, the tension visibly rolling off him.
    She smiled back and thought of all the reasons she should have declined. But all she’d said was that there was a chance. And so what if he were seven years younger? If their sexes were switched, no one would think twice about it. Diana was a good ten years younger than Jim.
    Not that she wanted to be a man. Or to have her circumstances compared to Diana’s and Jim’s.
    Today she quite liked being a woman.
    “Good,” he said. “Good.”
    She started eating her soup, her hand steady again. Eating was safe. Talking wasn’t always safe. There wasn’t anything to say right now anyway. By the time it was reasonable for her to be looking around, she’d know what she wanted.
    Warmth settled inside her. Her friend Derek thought of her that way . He wanted to make love to her.
    The idea astounded her, and at the same time thrilled her. She liked the idea. Liked it a lot.
    For so many years she’d felt almost sexless. But now she felt desirable – and a bit wicked.
    Derek asked what kind of job she was looking for, and her ‘feeling-like-a-sex-symbol moment’ deflated.
    “I’m not qualified for anything.” She glanced around the restaurant. “I could waitress.” If anyone wanted her. “Or cook.” She was a decent cook.
    “You should get half the money. If Jim—”
    “I do have half the joint bank account and any investments will be shared.” She shrugged. She would’ve given Jim credit for that, but she put some of his compliance and generosity down to the photos of him and Diana. Plus, her father was still backing Jim. But if Jim treated her badly on the financial end, her father might change his mind.
    “I have enough to get by for a while,” she said. “If I’m frugal. But I have to think of the future. I don’t have social security. I need to build up equity in myself.”
    “What do you want to do?”
    Be a mom. The waiter came with her mushroom ravioli, and she managed