Step-Lover by Bella Jewel Page B

bit,” Jack is saying. “Nancy said she’s been having them since she was a little girl. Some nights are worse than others.”
    They’re talking . . . about me .
    “She was screaming on and off all night,” Ripley mutters.
    “Fuckin’ freaked me out,” Blade grumbles. “Why is she havin’ dreams like that?”
    “Look, what I’m about to tell you stays between us. If she hasn’t told you already, she isn’t ready for you to know so you keep this to yourselves. I’m not sure if you’ve wondered what happened to Nancy’s husband and other daughter. I know you’ve heard them mentioned.”
    “Yeah, I wondered,” Brody says.
    Great, they’re all there. My breathing intensifies until I’m clutching my chest, on the verge of a panic attack.
    “When Aria was eight, they were all travelling home after being out for the evening.”
    No Jack, don’t.
    “The tire blew on the car and it swerved off the road, flipped and wrapped around a tree.”
    No. Please.
    “Jesus,” Blade says, his voice sympathetic.
    I don’t want his sympathy. Please, Jack, stop.
    Why won’t my feet move?
    “Nancy told me about it just after we met. She was beside herself but, she told me it was graphic. Aria’s father was thrown from the vehicle; he died instantly.”
    Daddy. God. Stop.
    My knees begin to shake and my body starts heaving.
    “Nancy said . . .” His voice trembles. “She said Aria was in the back with her sister, Milly. She didn’t know at the time, but after intense therapy when Aria was younger, she found out Aria saw her sister die. And boys, when I say she saw her die, I mean she saw her die, graphically. Nancy told me she has suffered from what she saw ever since.”
    I gasp for air, clutching my chest.
    No. They need to stop talking about her. Right now.
    “It was written on file that it was one of the most gruesome accidents for a long, long time. I won’t go into details, because it’s disturbing, but I can tell you what that girl saw that day will never leave her head, just like it has never left Nancy’s. She has nightmares. You need to go easy on her.”
    “My God,” Blade breathes. “I didn’t . . .”
    “No,” Jack cuts him off. “Not many people, except those who are close to them, know.”
    I stumble out of the hall. I can’t breathe. The walls are closing in on me and my throat is closing tighter and tighter. I gasp for air as I fall into the living room. Jack turns suddenly and his eyes widen. I look pathetic; I know I do. My hands clutch my chest and tears are pouring down my cheeks. An unknown rage swirls in my belly. How dare he talk about them? How dare he?
    “H-h-h-how dare you?” I scream.
    Jack flinches. “Sweetheart, you were having nightmares . . .”
    “You don’t have any right,” I screech, gasping for air.
    “Dad, she’s panicking,” Blade says.
    They take a step towards me but I don’t want it. I don’t want any of it.
    “You don’t understand; none of you understand. It’s my place,” I bellow. “It’s my place to tell that story.”
    My eyes turn to Blade and I see it . . . I see something I never wanted to see from him. Pity. Sympathy. He feels sorry for me. I don’t want him to feel sorry for me; I don’t want him to suddenly change because he’s too scared to be an asshole to me. I don’t want that. I never wanted that.
    “I don’t tell people because of this,” I cry, waving my arms around. “I don’t want your fucking pity, god dammit.”
    I turn and rush towards the door. “Don’t follow me,” I cry loudly, pained and broken.
    I tumble out and trip down the steps, landing on my hands and knees at the bottom. Too much. It’s too much. I push to my feet quickly and stumble forward. Then I start running, I run so far and so fast that when I look back, I can’t even see the house anymore. I find an old, fallen tree and drop down, panting. Tears stream down my face. God dammit, when will this get easier?
    It has to . . . right?
    ~*~*~*~
    My