Still Water by A. M. Johnson Page A

meet his gaze.
    "I don't want you to go out with him again," Todd's voice was an imposing whisper.
    "I don't think you have a say in the matter." I sounded unsure. He moved his hand to the side of my cheek, and without thinking, I leaned into the caress. The pull between us was surreal. The electricity in the air was almost visible.
    "Oh, I think I do." He leaned down and placed his mouth softly to mine. He kissed my upper lip first, and then lightly pulled at the bottom lip, sending shivers down my spine and heat to my belly. He bound his other arm around my waist and pulled me tight against his body. I craved his hard touch. Our kiss became aggressive, and his tongue mingled with mine. Todd twisted his hand into my hair, pulling my head back making it easier for him to kiss me intensely. He kissed me deeper than I'd ever been kissed before, and a needy moan escaped my mouth. Todd pressed his hips against my body, and I felt his arousal against my stomach.
    "Fuck." His coarse word rumbled into my mouth.
    "Do you want to come inside?" I asked, sounding more desperate than I thought possible. I hated that he made me feel out of control, but at the same time I was tired of always keeping it together. I wanted a moment of irrationality. Just one moment.
    "Is that what you want?" He pinned my eyes. "It's late, you need to go to sleep."
    "I don't want to sleep. I want you." I grinned and pushed my hips into his. He groaned. "Ugh, I forgot. I live with my damn sister. Could we go to your place?"
    "Lily, is that—"
    "What I want? Yes." What was it with all this hesitation? He wanted me, I could tell. Why else would he be here?
    Todd exhaled noisily. The chocolate of his eyes appeared darker; he seemed tired all of a sudden. "All right, I'm driving though."
    The minute he conceded I knew I had hurt him, and I didn't know why.
     

     
    O N THE WAY OVER, T ODD TALKED to me… like really talked to me. I found out that Todd had a brother named Colby, who played football for a University up north and was dating Todd's best friend, Cameron. He told me about his family and his friend Liz and her husband, and about how cute their baby was. How he couldn't believe that they had made an actual human being. It was so cute how he was dumbfounded by the simple mechanics of procreation. He had me belly laughing the whole way. I noticed, though, he talked about Liz with a certain reverence. I had a feeling Liz had some part in breaking this boy down. Todd's jaw constricted a bit when he spoke of her, his grip on the steering wheel was tighter than necessary. Yeah, Liz had done a number on him. I was grateful for this small peek into his closed off world. For a second, I thought that maybe he chose to sleep around as a way to forget. Todd wasn't a womanizer, of this I was now sure. He was just broken.
    The tension in the car was thick as we pulled up to his condo. I felt as if he'd opened up to me, and now I was going to cheapen it by sleeping with him. But for some reason, I needed him to want me. The attraction between us was so overwhelming. I couldn't get him out of my brain, and then he rejected me. He said he didn't do anything with that stupid blonde, and I believed him. I wanted to believe in him. I wanted a piece of who he was. His dismissal cut me more than it should have, and now I had to have some small part of him, no matter the cost.
    He dropped his keys into a giant bowl of condoms and candy that sat on the sideboard table in the entryway as we walked into the house. My anxiety picked up a notch, and my heart was beating so hard in my chest I was sure the neighbors could hear it.
    "So, where's Seth?" I asked while I took in my surroundings. . It was decorated simply as a bachelor pad would be. The living room we were standing in had large, soft looking gray couches, and the walls had exquisite black and white photos. All the photography appeared to be landscapes of some of the local state parks. The entertainment center had a large