Surrender to Temptation Part IV: Tempted to Entice by Lauren Jameson Page A

unabashedly sexy top. I missed my habitual, severe black.
    I had noticed Tony eyeing me from the corner of my sight line all day. I couldn’t be mad, since the cleavage spilling from my shirt invited attention that I didn’t particularly want.
    Well, that wasn’t entirely true. I wanted it, but the one man I wanted it from wasn’t prepared to give it to me.
    The clock told me that it was four thirty. Only another half an hour, and then I could escape the office building, where everything reminded me of Zach.
    Right. I could escape the office, only to go home and think about him endlessly, reminders or not.
    Get a grip, Devon.
Grinding my teeth so hard that I could hear the noise of the friction, I chugged a sip of the ice-cold coffee that had been sitting on my desk since that morning and turned back to my computer with what I hoped was renewed focus. When I wasn’t miserable and mooning over Zachariah St. Brenton, I actually really liked my job, and I didn’t want to lose it, not now that I had signed a lease on a place of my own. It was a tiny studio apartment, and the monthly rent was double what I had paid in Sacramento.
    But it was not a cheap motel room. No, it was all mine.
    As I set my coffee cup down, I caught the eye of Mrs. Gallagher. When I had walked in that morning she had taken one look at my red blouse, sighed heavily, and walked away. Since then, I had caught her staring at me with that concerned look etched in thick lines between her eyes—by now I knew that I wasn’t imagining it. She had even been very nearly pleasant in our interactions.
    Her strange attitude hadn’t helped the sense that my life was off balance. Even now, as she pursed her lips in my direction, I wanted to scream. Though there was no way that she could know just how far my relationship with Zach had gone, she clearly suspected and disapproved, even as she felt pity toward me.
    I didn’t want anyone feeling pity for me. If I couldn’t be in a relationship with Zach, pale as things seemed in the aftermath of our intense chemistry, I needed to move on with my life. And I didn’t want to lose sight of what I had gained since moving to San Francisco.
    I looked at the clock. Twenty minutes. Just a small fraction of my workday, but at the moment they felt like an eternity.
    I gave up on work. It just wasn’t going to happen. Instead I opened my e-mail browser and, after rubbing my temples with tense fingers, I set out to do what I had been trying to do for days.
    I needed to get some sense of closure. I needed to have my say. Though, after our final encounter, I wasn’t sure if he would actually read my e-mail or not, but at least I would have tried.
    From: Reid, Devon [[email protected]]
    Sent: Friday, 4:53 PM
    To: St. Brenton, Zachariah [[email protected]]
    Subject: Closure
    Zach,
    I’ll keep this brief . . . I don’t know if you will even read it or not. If you are reading, then I want you to know that I’m sorry. I didn’t meet with Tom to upset you. I certainly didn’t invite him here, but since he showed up I thought it was a good opportunity to tell him the things that I didn’t when I left. This was something that I needed to do for myself.
    I’m also sorry that I can’t be who you need me to be. I know you think that I should be afraid of you, but I’m truly not. I am afraid of how I feel when you push me away, though, and since you won’t let me in, then there doesn’t seem to be much hope. I know that this isn’t easy for you, either, and I know that that kind of trust takes time. I wish . . . I don’t actually know what I wish anymore.
    Thank you for everything you have done for me. You helped me uncover parts of myself that I didn’t even know existed. I have to find the strength now to continue that journey on my own.
    I wish you all the best, Zach. I’d say that I’d like us to be friends, but I think it would be too painful for me to be around you at all and not be able to be