Sword to the Heart (Bantam Series No. 13) by Barbara Cartland Page B

right word for it, pleasurable for us both.”
    Natalia jumped to her feet.
    “No! No!”
    Lord Colwall looked at her in surprise.
    “May I enquire what you mean by that?”
    “It means,” Natalia replied, “that I could not allow you to touch me ... now that I know you do not love me!”
    For a moment there was an expression of anger in Lord Colwall’s eyes, but he managed to say unemotionally:
    “That is a ridiculous assertion, as you must well know. For the moment you are upset, but I have asked you to forget what you inadvertently overheard. In fact I order you to do so.”
    “And you imagine ... even if I could forget it ... that I could delude myself into ... believing that you ... love me?” Natalia asked.
    “I have told you that there is no point in our discussing love,” Lord Colwall replied. “But let me tell you in all sincerity, Natalia, that I do appreciate that you will make me a very charming wife, and I cannot believe that in the course of a few minutes the love that you have just professed to feel for me has changed into dislike.”
    “No, I do not ... dislike you,” Natalia said. “I love you ... although I was mistaken in thinking you love me. But I ... cannot give you a ... child.”
    “Why not?”
    There was no doubt of the irritation in Lord Colwall’s tone now.
    “Because if we had one without you ... loving me ... then it might easily be ... deformed.”
    Lord Colwall stared at Natalia incredulously, and then as if he could not prevent himself he ejaculated:
    “What the devil do you mean by that?”
    Natalia’s hand went up to the pendant which she wore around her neck. She felt her fingers touch the cool enamel of the Knight. Somehow she felt that it gave her courage.
    “Will you allow me to ... explain exactly what I mean, My Lord?”
    “But of course,” Lord Colwall said courteously, the irritation fading from his eyes. ‘Will you not sit down?”
    He indicated the sofa again. But Natalia sank down on the rug in front of the fire.
    As if he sensed what she was feeling, Herald came to be beside her and place his great head in her lap.
    She stroked him for a few moments until, when Lord Colwall had seated himself in a high-backed arm-chair, she began in a low voice:
    “I thought about having ... children and I wanted above all else to give you a ... son.”
    He did not speak and after a moment she went on:
    “When I was coming here yesterday and I saw the Castle, I remembered how Mama had told me of the wonderful place it was for the young; a place for children to play Hide and Seek, to run along the broad corridors and to climb the turrets. I knew then I wanted to have not an only child, such as I myself had been, but a number.”
    She paused and stared into the fire before she said:
    “I am well aware that at the moment you are ... incensed with me for not agreeing instantly to your wishes, but I think when you hear the ... reason for my refusal, you will ... understand.”
    “I am listening,” Lord Colwall said.
    “I must have been twelve, or perhaps thirteen, when I learned first that a baby could be born out of wedlock,” Natalia began in a low voice. ‘There was a girl living in the village, the daughter of a small farmer, who fell very much in love with one of the farm labourers.
    “He was, of course, not of her class and there could be no question of her marrying him. But soon people began to talk of her condition, and I learned from the conversations I overheard in the village that she was having a baby.”
    The colour rose in her cheeks.
    “The man was sent away—no-one knew where he went—and the baby was born the following winter. His mother died in child-birth and the child was brought up by his grandparents.”
    Natalia paused.
    “When Jeremy was three years old, he was the most beautiful child I have ever seen in my life. I remember saying to Papa: ‘It seems strange that two quite ordinary-looking people should have such a beautiful child. He looks