Sworn Secret by Amanda Jennings Page A

a moment everything else faded to nothing. He wondered if they could stay like this for ever, in that needy embrace, but he knew it wasn’t possible, that soon they’d have to split. When they did he turned and walked out of the police station with her following.
    Despite the evening drawing in, the sunshine seemed to have grown brighter, too bright, perhaps, to do justice to the gravity of their situation. A sky the colour of faded underwear would have been more appropriate , Jon thought. And maybe some drizzle to make the air damp, the type of damp that cuts through to the bones.
    ‘Will they press charges?’ Jon asked as they stepped on to the pavement.
    ‘They were vague,’ she said. Her voice was thin and tired. ‘It has a lot to do with—’ She stopped talking suddenly and stumbled, collapsing on to her hands and knees on the pavement. His stomach turned over. He dropped to the ground beside her and placed a hand on her back, trying his best to ignore the looks from curious passers-by. He watched helplessly as she tried to breathe. At last her knuckles lost their whitish tinge and her body relaxed a fraction. She rocked back on to her haunches and faced him.
    ‘It depends on what Rebecca wants to do,’ she whispered.
    They walked back to the car in silence. They didn’t hold hands. Jon walked a step in front of Kate, leading the way, using his arms every now and then to guide people out of the path she walked blindly. He wanted to talk. He wanted to tell her that it was going to be OK, that Rebecca was OK, that she wasn’t scared or hurt, and that when he dropped her off she laughed and said to pass the message on that she was fine. But of course he couldn’t say those things, and saying anything else seemed pointless.
    Eventually, though, when they were both strapped into the car and he’d put the key into the ignition, the silence became impossible.
    He cleared his throat. ‘Did the police treat you well?’ It was all he had.
    ‘Yes,’ she replied. ‘They gave me tea.’
    ‘You must have been scared.’ Jon meant to be sympathetic, but the words came out too forced and he worried he sounded insincere.
    Kate didn’t answer.
    Then without warning a sudden swell of anger hit him. He slammed both hands against the steering wheel so hard he felt Kate jump.
    ‘Damn it, Kate, what the hell were you thinking! I mean, how? How could you do that?’
    ‘I wasn’t.’
    ‘Wasn’t what?’ he asked, exasperated.
    ‘Thinking.’
    They didn’t speak again.
    He pulled up outside the house and she got out of the car. He watched her walk up the path to their front door then disappear indoors. He didn’t make to follow; it was better where he was, alone in the car. The car was like a bubble, comfortable, quiet and protected. He closed his eyes and imagined many pairs of invisible hands sealing him inside, working quickly and quietly, before an enormous remote-controlled machine dropped the car with him inside into a large hole, then filled the hole, shovel-load by shovel-load, until he was buried and all that was left was a scar of freshly turned soil on the ground above.

The Shed
     
    Lizzie hoped her dad was OK. She wasn’t sure if he’d properly heard her when she told him she needed a walk. He hadn’t replied, just gave a dilute smile through the gathered crowd, his eyes clouded, full of her mum and Rebecca.
    She went straight to the shed. It was the first place she thought about. She kept her eyes on the pavement in front of her and didn’t dawdle or look in any shop windows. She pushed her hands into the pockets of her school blazer and tried to keep her mum and Rebecca out of her head. She knew the shed would help. It always did. Even before Anna died it was a place where she felt safe.
    The shed was at her grandparents’ house, and though she and Anna had called it their shed for years and years, it was really her grandmother’s. She’d given it over to them when they were small. Their mum and