Take Me There by Carolee Dean Page A

All I’d been thinking about for the past few months was surviving. Keeping my nose clean. Holding down a job. I wished I could erase the tattoo. Wished I could erase myself and start over. But even if I did, what would I do differently? Why couldn’t I have found Gomez
before
I found Jake Farmer?
    “What about you?” Jess finally spoke. “Did you keep your end of the bargain?”
    “I’m trying.”
    Jess looked up at me. “That’s so … unbelievable.”
    “It’s all true. Believe me.”
    “I believe it happened, I just can’t believe you would tell me. I mean, my friends would never confess anything like that. They can’t even admit they buy Prada knockoffs. It’s like we’re always in this huge competition for who has the perfect life. I’m so sick of it. Sometimes I feel like we’re all in a big popularity parade, all dressed up, marching behind the horses.”
    “You want me to leave?” I braced myself for rejection.
    She looked surprised. “Why?”
    “Aren’t you afraid of me?” I’d seen people cross the street to avoid me and my type.
    “Should I be?” She didn’t seem afraid at all. She didn’t even seem disappointed.
    “No.”
    “Then I guess I’m not.”
    “So you don’t want me to leave?”
    “No. I don’t want you to leave. In fact, what I really want …” She looked down at her sandals.
    “What?”
    She still wouldn’t look at me. “Dylan, would you stay the night with me?”
    I felt my mouth fall open as I suffered a mild heart attack. That was
not
the reaction I was expecting from her.
    “No. It’s not like that. I’m not coming on to you. That’s not what I mean. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that.” She was trembling like a kitten left out in the rain, and I suddenly realized what she wanted. What she needed.
    She was afraid of being alone. If two mongrels like Ajax and Spider had tried to force me into a van, I’d be scared too.
    “Sure. I’ll spend the night with you. I’ll spend the whole week if you want.”
    “Are you sure?” she asked. It was weird, the idea of a girl wanting to be with me because she thought I was safe. I remembered the way her boyfriend had treated her, and I made a promise to myself that I would never be like that.
    “I don’t expect anything,” I said. “You’re safe with me.”
    “I know. I don’t know how I know, but I do.” She smiled,took my hand, and led me into her house.
    Jess input a code on the security pad so we wouldn’t set off the house alarm. Then she locked the back door. She proceeded to walk through the entire first floor, turning on every light, looking in every corner, which is exactly what I would do if I’d been accosted by gangbangers the night before. “My room is upstairs,” she told me. “It used to be a separate flat, but my parents connected them.”
    When we reached the staircase, Jess picked up a black trash bag filled with clothes. “Oh, maybe you could use these. I was supposed to take them to Goodwill for my father.”
    “Thanks,” I said, looking down at my dirty work clothes, realizing I wouldn’t be going home to change.
    When we reached the second floor, Jess said, “Home sweet home.” She pointed to a large room with a small kitchenette in the corner, set off by a bar and four stools. There was a small bathroom next to the kitchen, but everything else seemed to be in the one room, a futon facing a wide-screen television, a beanbag chair next to the futon, and a shelf filled with books and movies. There were piles of books and clothes everywhere.
    A huge full moon was glowing through a plate-glass window in the wall behind the television. “I bet that’s one awesome view during the day,” I said, trying to make conversation. Not really sure what I was supposed to do next.
    “You must think I’m a total wimp to ask you to babysit me.”
    “Nope,” I said, turning back to her. “I think you’re alone … and scared.”
    Jess wrapped her arms around herself and