Take the All-Mart! by J. I. Greco Page B

smoke.”
    “Me too,” Yolanda said from back of the pack somewhere. “And I’m pretty sure being stoned is the only thing keeping me from freaking out.”
    “I’m cold,” said Lindsay-Joe, standing between Ophelia and Xanadu, their arms tightly around each other.
    “I broke a heel,” Denise chimed in.
    “On the bright side, these fishnets have never looked better,” Carolyn said, twisting her left leg out in front of her to show off the fresh tears in her stockings.
    Georgina, all of sixteen, started whimpering.
    “Please, girls,” Mother Superior said, gesturing for the coven to huddle closer around her and Bernice’s lighter flame. “Calm yourselves.”
    “How?” Bernice clicked off her lighter before her thumb burnt.
    Yolanda flicked her own lighter to life. “Yeah, we’re running out of weed.”
    Mother Superior reached out for the whimpering Georgina, pulled her close to snug her up against her hip and stroke her hair. “We’re all alive, no broken bones, and we have each other. We will find a way out.”
    “Did anybody think to bring a compass?” Roxanne asked.
    “An excellent idea, Sister Roxanne. Well, anyone?” Mother Superior scanned the faces of her coven. She got back shrugs and shaking heads.
    “I’ve got these,” Lindsay-Joe said with a giggle, holding her purse up to the lighter flame and showing off the collection of dildos, vibrators and lubes inside. “Will they help?”
    Mother Superior shook her head. “Not under these circumstances, I’m afraid. But they’ll certainly come in handy once we’re out and can celebrate.” She bit her lower lip in thought, then, “All right, no compass... how about a flashlight? Anyone?”
    “We’ve been wandering around in here for at least a couple hours,” Roxanne noted. “Don’t you think if any of us had a flashlight, we would have taken it out by now?”
    Mother Superior glared at her. “Food, then?”
    “Oh, I could use a sandwich,” Yolanda said, letting her lighter go out. Xanadu was ready, lighting hers.
    Mother Superior nodded. “I think all of us could.”
    “We left all the stuff we brought for brunch on the bus,” Georgina said.
    “Nobody brought any snacks?” Mother Superior asked.
    “Why’s everybody looking at me?” Bernice asked. “No... no I did not bring snacks. I’m on a diet.”
    “Maybe,” Lindsay-Joe said, “the All-Mart will let us go if we do a blood sacrifice.”
    “That requires a virgin,” Mother Superior reminded her.
    “Bernie’s never done it with a guy!” Yolanda blurted.
    “Yolanda, you bitch!”
    “What? I’m panicking here.” Yolanda’s head dropped in shame. “You know I’m not good in the dark.”
    Bernice put her arm around Yolanda’s shoulder consolingly. “I know, honey.”
    Mother Superior took the lighter from Xanadu and held the flame below her face. “We’re hardly desperate enough for a blood sacrifice, girls. But... we probably should complete the appeasement ceremony.”
    “Yeah, no.” Roxanne crossed her arms and jutted her hips to one side defiantly. “I think I’m about done praying to the All-Mart, thank you very much.”
    “We don’t question the actions of the new god, Sister Roxanne.” Mother Superior fingered the double-helix phallus medallion between her bare breasts. “I’m sure it has its reasons for subsuming us. And whatever the reasons, it still deserves our prayers and it will get them. Now, if you’ll all give me a few minutes while I meditate and prepare, then we’ll start the ceremony over from the beginning. — Xanadu, Ophelia, will you assist, please?”
    The two sisters stepped forward. Xanadu took her lighter back, Ophelia took Georgina, still clinging and whimpering.
    “Great plan,” Roxanne said, but deep enough under her breath the Mother Superior couldn’t possibly hear. Except she did, glancing back to sneer at her before she shut her eyes and sank into her deep-breathing routine.
    Bernice tugged at Roxanne’s mini,