Taking the Lead: Lessons From a Life in Motion by Derek Hough Page A

and routine in my life. I couldn’t picture going back to the way it had been before.
    I remember one holiday break when I was in the car with my dad, arguing with him about staying in London. “But Dad,” I pleaded, “I want to be successful.”
    He looked at me sternly. “You don’t think I’m successful? I have beautiful kids, a home, a great job.” I didn’t mean to put him on the defense, and I realized that his definition of success and mine were two very different things. He didn’t need fame or money or trophies to feel successful. But to me, success was being a champion. I couldn’t put into words back then how I felt, but I can now. London was such a vast, culturally rich city, and I felt connected to that energy. Utah felt small and limited to me for what I wanted to achieve. They were two worlds, so very far apart.
    He might not have agreed with me, but it was hard for my dad to argue with our success overseas. When it came down to it, he saw how badly I wanted to stay, and being the unselfish guy he is, he put aside his wants and his needs for mine. My mom struggled with it as well. She would be very supportive to me (“Yes, yes! Go, go!”), but behind closed doors, it would hurt her being away from her kids for so long. People thought my parents were crazy to let us go off and live with strangers. My mom got the brunt of it. They insinuated that she was a terrible mother. “How could you let them go?” nosy neighbors would ask her. She’d reply, “How could I not? How selfish would I be to stand in the way of my children’s dreams?” It was very brave of her and I love her for it. In her mind, it was all about us; it always was.
    My relationship with my parents changed drastically when I went to London. It had to; with an eight-hour time difference, it was difficult to connect on the phone, and when we did, I kept everything light and positive. If I had problems or concerns, I couldn’t admit it to them. I didn’t want them to ever worry. But I knew that when I did hit times when I was down or overwhelmed and homesick for the Utah sun, I could pick up the phone and come home the next day. I never did, but I knew the door was always wide open.
    And that’s what helped me stay so long—nearly ten years. Knowing that I had two homes, two lives, and two families helped me feel secure. I went from feeling like the rug had been swept out from under me to feeling that I had a strong, solid foundation on both sides of the pond. I felt like the luckiest kid in the world.
    LEADING LESSONS
    Live in a state of gratitude .
    When I was a little boy, my dad taught us how to pray. We’d give thanks for meals; in church we’d thank God for his blessings. But as we grow older, expressing gratitude seems less important. We’re not as appreciative of the little things; we lose sight of what we already have in our quest to have more. I’m not a religious person anymore, but I see the value in prayer. It’s a brilliant incantation you deliver at any time during the day. You physically change your body—you fold your arms, you bow your head—and then you give thanks out loud for all that’s good in your life while expressing faith that what’s bad will get better. Gratitude reminds us to not give up, to have a positive attitude, and to open our hearts. When I was in London, I would gaze out the train window and think to myself, How lucky am I? Not every kid gets to follow his passion with every fiber of his being. I was so grateful, and that made everything I experienced so much richer. Today, in the crazy rush that is my life and my career, I constantly have to remind myself to stop and take stock.
    Remind yourself where you come from .
    I spent the majority of my life running away from Utah, from the life I led there, from the memories I associated with those early years. It felt very someone-else-ago to me. London changed me profoundly.
    When we were dancing on DWTS together, Jennifer Grey called me