Tethered (J + P series) by D.A. Roach Page B

bleeding.  Maybe there was a rat in the room.  I gave a final yank and the dress popped off and she was staring at me with pure disgust.  I realized the gasp was her reaction to seeing me 10 pounds heavier.  She stormed out of the room and slammed the door.  My heart cracked, and I felt so ashamed and so unloved at that moment.  I looked in the mirror.  I had managed to stay at 125 pounds through high school.  It fit my 5'6” frame well, 135 made my mid-section a little rounder and my hips a little fuller.  I couldn't look anymore; I must look disgusting to everyone.  I dug into my closet and wiped the tear forming in my eye away.  I pulled out a black sweater and black slacks.  I fixed my makeup and headed out to get my shoes on.  This night was going to suck.  Knowing my lucky, Lisa would be 10 pounds thinner than high school.
     
    “Are you going to a funeral or trying to impersonate Johnny Cash?” my dad tried to joke.  I would have laughed had I not felt so low at that moment.
     
    “Trying to look thinner Dad, that's all.” I muttered.
     
    We loaded into the car and my mom would not look at me or speak to me.  It's as if I did not exist.  I was worried about how this dinner would go.  Would Lisa sit across from me, beaming her bright smile and beautiful golden locks, ignoring me as well?  I wished I was back at school.  It's funny how I don't have to deal with any of these emotions there, I can just be Perry.  We pulled up to the restaurant.  It's an expensive restaurant with white table linens, candles at the table, piano music in the background.  Once inside, we spotted Lisa's parents but not Lisa.  We sat down and my mom asked, “Where is that lovely daughter of yours?”
     
    “Oh, she is celebrating her boyfriend's birthday tonight.  She is sorry she can't make it.” her mom stated.  She then turned her eyes toward me. “Perry, welcome home. I hope college life is treating you well.”
     
    The waiter brings our waters and a basket of bread and butter.  I was so hungry that I wasn't sure whether to answer her, or grab a piece of bread to keep my stomach from complaining.  I decided on a compromise, “Yes it is.” I replied and grabbed a piece of bread.  After I swallowed a bite I continued, “I have made some great friends and the classes are challenging but interesting.  How is Lisa liking college?”
     
    “She loves it.  She is pledging a sorority and has made lots of friends as well.”  I was not surprised by this news.   The waiter came back to take our orders.  When it was my turn, I asked for lasagna and a salad.  I took half of another piece of bread.  I heard a very loud throat clearing and a ‘ tsk ’ sound.  Everyone at the table looked at my mom who was staring at me with an appalled look on her face.  “That's enough bread for you, Porky.  Take that basket away from her!” she snipped.  My mouth dropped open.  I am shocked that she said that in front of Lisa's parents.  I felt so embarrassed and my appetite disappear ed .  No one at the table said a word, I was pretty sure no one knew what to do at that moment.  They just quietly changed the subject while my mom pinned me to the chair with the daggers she shot out of her eyes.  I was a heartbeat away from swearing away all food and seeing how long it would take for me to starve myself to death.  She would be happier if I was dead, no one to shame her.  I hated this life.  I excused myself to the bathroom.  Breathe.  Breathe.  Breathe.  I tried not to let the tears fall from my eyes before I made it to the bathroom.  Once I was in the stall I let them fall.  I needed them out of my body so my tear ducts were dry and I could make it through the meal without another tear shed.  Tears were like victory points to my mom; I needed her not to have them.  I didn't want my sorrow to bring her joy.  I longed for my iPod to transport me away, but I hadn't brought a purse to dinner.  Deep