look,” said Hallie. I took out my phone and
grabbed a picture of her staring at the delectable sweet in front of her; she
made this funny face and held the fork in this awkward manner. She always did
stuff like that.
“Yeah, it’s a lava cake. We’ve had those before,” I said.
“But it’s so good,” she said, placing another fork-full in
her mouth.
“I know, too bad we can’t eat these every day. So, what’s
the plan then? What are you in the mood to do?”
“I guess let’s just go to the bar down off 23 rd ,”
she said.
“Okay, but we go there all the time.”
“I know, but I kind of have a thing for the bartender still.”
“You do?” I asked.
“Yeah, he’s kind of hot, don’t you think?”
“I guess so,” I said. I knew exactly whom she was talking
about. Yeah, he was easy on the eyes a bit, but he was a bartender. They’re the
worst kind of person you could possibly date because they could never stay
faithful. “I mean, if you’re just looking for a fling then go for it.” I
smiled.
“Well, it is my birthday. I deserve a fling,” she said,
taking another bite of the tiny cake. “But if I keep eating like this, you may
need to roll me there.” She laughed, but I think she was being half serious.
“You always eat healthy, a day or two off doesn’t hurt.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” she said.
We both jabbed our forks at the final morsels. It was
satisfying, to say the least. After we were finished, we said goodbye to John,
and left to get ready for the night. On the way back home, I thought about
Michael, my ex-boyfriend. I thought about how much he burned me when he cheated
on me. I recalled it so vividly in my mind, and as much as I wanted those
thoughts to go away, they always seemed to creep back in.
However, aside from the cheating, and the lying, Michael was pretty much the perfect guy . He treated me right, always buying me flowers, taking
me out to dinner, and doing lovely things for me. It’s too bad it all came
crashing down around me when I walked in on him fucking one of my friends. That
changed everything. That changed my entire view of men, and who they really are deep down inside.
In fact, that experience, changed my view on pretty much
everyone in the world, not just men I was in a relationship with. I realized
that everyone was capable of doing those things. I knew that I couldn’t let my
guard down again, and because of all of that, I’ve found nothing but problems
in the men I’ve dated since Michael. I’ve found countless reasons to try to
catch them in lie after lie. Nothing has been the same. Nothing will ever be
the same for me.
“What’s wrong?” Hallie asked.
She must have noticed my sudden sullen mood as I sat there
reeling about days gone by. “Michael. What else?”
“Sydney, you have to forget about him. You really do. It’s
ancient history. That was years ago. Why do you keep allowing him to bring you
down like this? I can see it in your eyes. I can see how unhappy you are.”
I never really realized just how much he had affected me
until later down the road. I had come to the realization that this was going to
be my life now; that I couldn’t move past it anymore. I couldn’t move past the
hurt and the internal conflict ever since then. It was hard. It was really hard .
“You don’t get it, Hallie. You just don’t get it. You never
had your heart torn apart like I did. That never happened to you.”
“Well,” she said, “at least you came to the realization sooner
rather than later. Could you have imagined getting married then realizing those
things about him? Could you imagine that?”
“Yes, I know. We’ve talked about this a million times, but
it still bothers me. I had so much invested in that relationship. He was
perfect; absolutely perfect, until that bitch went behind my back and fucked
him.”
“He was hardly perfect. You call that perfect? All he did
was lie and cheat on you. How is that perfect?” she