The Broken Girl (Lonely Girl Book 2) by Gracie Wilson Page B

I love first? That’s the question.
    “Your friend thought you could use a drink.” I look up and see a guy I’ve seen around the team before , but I don’t know him. I look to where he’s pointing and I see my brother with Keegan, Charlotte, and Drake. Sarah is also there with her hands around Keegan. The sight makes me thankful there is a drink being handed to me. I grab it from him, thanking him and send cheers to my group of friends who are also doing the same. I down the drink in seconds. Glancing over, I see Keegan, Drake, and my brother staring at me like I’ve grown a second head. “That was much needed, thank you.” I get up and walk away. The last thing I need is another guy in my life.
    Well , trying to get out of the watchful eyes of my friends, I bump right into someone. “Becca.” I don’t have to look to know who it is.
    “Sorry , Jake, I wasn’t watching where I was going.” I go to move around him, I can’t do this right now.
    “Becca , no, wait.”
    Without thinking , I turn to him. My filter I had been working so hard to keep has vanished. “Why? So you can tell me to give you space. I got that message loud and clear when you moved out of the dorms. When you left me broken. You broke me, Jake.” Spinning around, I try to leave since I’m starting to feel that drink I downed. I feel his arms on me and I feel heat at the contact. God, I’ve missed him touching me.
    “Becca , it is because you were with Keegan.”
    Wait?
    What?
    “I wasn’t with him, I ended it. If you decided to walk away , know it’s because of you. I know what I want, Jake.” Jake looks at me and I know whatever he’s about to say isn’t going to help matters.
    “Because he couldn’t remember you. You fought so hard to stay with him and keep things with you two.” I’m stunned. Did he hear nothing I said to him in the hospital? I’m too mad to hold anything back.
    “You can’t blame me for staying . I ran to you with everything and you always said the right things to send me back! You told me you didn’t love me like that. YOU DID IT TO ME. It broke my heart every goddamn time. I didn’t know it then. I didn’t know that you had stolen my heart but every time you did the “I’m not in love with you,” I felt it.  You broke me, Jacob Kelso. You pushed me towards him. You smiled when he did sweet things; you encouraged me to give him another chance! Now you saying you blame me and pushed me away now because of that. Don't you get it? Jake… I loved you. Always you. Maybe you just didn’t love me like you think. Now you’re blaming me for not sharing my feelings! When you couldn’t tell me either like that’s fair. Well, that’s bullshit, Jake.” I turn and begin to walk away.
    “Becca , wait! Please.” The change in his voice makes me still instantly but I don’t turn around. “Becca, you think any of that was easy for me. I was doing it because I thought he made you happy. I would do anything to make you happy. I’d even hide my own love for you. Every time I told you I wasn’t in love with you, it was like my heart was being crushed against my chest. Saying those words was the second hardest thing I ever did. Every time I said I love you, I meant it. I love you more than anything. In my head, when I’d say I love you, all the things I love about you would follow it. All I thought about was this sad girl I found in the front of the school. I loved you the moment you gave me that shy awkward wave in the café the day we met. This unbelievable shy, beautiful girl had so much to offer the world, but wouldn’t open up. I wanted to be that person. It was just you didn’t just need me. I wasn’t enough. Keegan wasn’t enough either. That girl will have everything she ever needs. She just can’t see it right now. She loved so openly but never let those love her back. I’m not going to be enough for you now. That’s why…”
    I interrupt him before he can finish . I know what’s coming,