The Cauliflower by Nicola Barker Page B

his head and laughed. Because when did dear Uncle ever do anything by halves?
    At around this time an upsetting incident took place at the Dakshineswar Kali Temple. One afternoon, after worship, the head priest in the Radhakanta Temple slipped while carrying the image of Krishna, and Krishna’s foot was broken in the fall. The priest was promptly dismissed. Damage to an image is considered highly inauspicious. It might attract very bad luck. And this image was one to which the Rani was especially attached. There was much debate about what to do next. Many pandits suggested that the Rani retire the image and replace it with another. But the Rani was very fond of the image and this thought distressed her. One day Mathur Baba approached Uncle and asked him his opinion on the matter. Of course, Uncle—young and insignificant as he then was—took this question in his stride. Nothing intimidates Uncle! He merely thought hard for a second and then he said, “If the Rani’s son-in-law fell down and broke his foot, would the Rani then abandon him? Of course not. She would carefully tend to him until he was recovered. The Rani should treat the image of Krishna with the same level of compassion. She should fix the image and then return it to the temple.”
    You may remember that Uncle had a great talent from his childhood with clay and sculpture. He volunteered to fix the image himself, using clay from the banks of the holy Ganga, and he did so with considerable skill.
    The Rani was delighted. Uncle had effortlessly solved all of her problems. One cannot deny that Uncle had much spiritual authority for one still so young. Nobody could ignore it. And so both Mathur Baba and the Rani felt that Uncle should be persuaded to take a more active role in the life of the temple thereafter. Mathur Baba asked Ramkumar if Uncle might now be willing to act as priest in the Radhakanta Temple. Uncle accepted the offer (after much huffing and puffing) only because the burden of worship was not too heavy there. Alas, Ramkumar’s health soon began to decline, until it became increasingly difficult for him to continue in the demanding worship of Ma Kali. Mathur Baba and Ramkumar decided that the best thing would naturally be for Uncle to now move to the main temple and for Ramkumar to take on Uncle’s lighter duties.
    Well you might think that Uncle would be delighted by this unexpected promotion. But quite the opposite! Uncle was horrified. He had no desire to spend his time tied to the routines of the Kali worship. Uncle was a free spirit. He could not be expected to conform to certain traditional ways of doing things. And he did not want the responsibility of looking after the Goddess’s expensive jewelry, either. Uncle had a terror of such things.
    Even though Mathur Baba (a powerful and influential man) showed Uncle (a poor village boy of no formal education) so much favor and deference in offering him this promotion, Uncle responded to these great kindnesses by claiming that he lacked the knowledge of the scriptures needed for such an exalted role, and when Mathur Baba insisted that this was of no importance (Uncle’s spiritual qualities were of far more significance than mere book learning, he said), Uncle commenced avoiding Mathur Baba like the plague! If Uncle caught so much as a whiff of Mathur Baba in the vicinity he would instantly scurry off. You can only imagine how much consternation this caused both myself and Ramkumar! Uncle is extremely perverse! It was only when I myself promised to assist Uncle in all of his duties and to take full responsibility for the jewelry and precious items in the Kali Temple that Uncle was finally persuaded to relent.
    Uncle is perfectly unmanageable! Who might compel him into anything? A wild stallion may be tamed, but who may tame Uncle?
    Ah. Even as I ask this question I am quietly prompted with a response: Ma Kali, that is who. It is Ma Kali who will tame Uncle. And yet