The Death of Me by Yolanda Olson Page B

already do know, Garrett,” I replied with a sigh. “That’s why I wanted to call you. You still have some time off this week don’t you?”
    “Yeah,” he responded with a heavy sigh of his own.
    “Will you come see me? Please?”
    “Text me your address. I’m still in Arizona, but I’ll take the next flight out to you,” he promised.
    “Okay. Thank you. Sorry again for waking you up,” I said quietly.
    “It’s okay. I’ll see you soon,” he said softly as he clicked off of the line.
    I waited about ten minutes before I sent him my address. There was something inside me, something that was once good and pure, something that cared , that was trying to get me not to do this, but I pushed it away.
    I wasn’t pure and good; not anymore and I knew I never would be again. I knew that the only way to end the pain of losing Scott, the little bit of pain that I felt, would be with Garrett. It was probably hurting him more than it hurt me because he couldn’t understand that the boy was better off without us. He was better off dead. With as much as I hated to admit it to myself, he really was.
    Once I got the response from Garrett that he had received my message, I shut my phone off, and put it back onto the charger before splaying onto my back on the bed. I wasn’t sure when he would be arriving, if it would be later today, or tomorrow, but I had to make the most of what was yet to come.
    ***
    I t was noon when I finally woke up. I don’t know how I had managed to sleep for almost twelve hours, but I felt refreshed and more sure of myself. The doubt of what needed to happen was gone and I found myself actually looking forward to Garrett’s visit.
    I got up and went into the bathroom humming a happy tune to myself, as I retrieved the toothpaste and my toothbrush. Running it under the water for a moment, I put a quarter sized amount of paste onto the bristles, before running it under the water again, then proceeded to brush my teeth.
    I was still happily humming to myself and scrubbing my teeth when a knock came at my front door. I rolled my eyes and spit the paste into the sink, grabbed my small plastic cup, filled it with water, and swished. The knock came again more persistent than the last time and I spit the water into the sink before running the brush under it again and placing it in it’s holder. I quickly turned around and pulled a small washcloth out of the linen cabinet behind me to wipe my face, then tossed it into the hamper as I walked out of the bathroom.
    I glanced at the time and sighed. It was quarter after twelve, I had woken up only moments ago, and it seemed that Garrett was already here. I knew it was him because I recognized the heavy handed knock that mimicked the one from the hotel room door.
    I stopped in front of the door and waited a few moments. I wanted him to knock again for no other reason than to prove to me that he wanted to be inside with me. It would be a small consolation in the downfall that had been my life; to have someone that actually wanted to be in my presence.
    I placed my hand on the doorknob and closed my eyes, waiting for the knock that I knew would come. Garrett had only let me down once in my life before and I think that now that I was back in his, he would do his best to make it up to me for as long as he could.
    “Zaydee?” his tired voice rang out, followed by the knock.
    I smiled and closed my eyes for a moment before I pulled the door open. There he stood on the other side, a luggage bag hoisted over his shoulder and a decorative vase in his hands. His eyes were dim; as dim as I saw the world that night in the hospital and he looked like all he wanted to do was just lay down and sleep for the rest of his life.
    “What’s that?” I asked, stepping back and letting him walk in.
    Garrett cleared his throat but didn’t answer my question. Instead, he glanced around the living room before walking away from where I was standing. Curiosity would’ve made a