idea of building love out of gratitude or pity made her feel sick, and she imagined it would make Alan feel sick too.
Loving Alan because of his smile and his smarts and how kind he was, that would be fair, but sheâd had the chance to do that already. Sheâd known how he felt about her. Sheâd been so worried about Jamie, so swept away by the spectacle of magic, she hadnât thought about it, and then when she wasnât paying attention, somehow it had become all about Nick.
Things were different now.
It wasnât fair to let Alan be second choice, either.
This wasnât about romance, though. Sheâd given Seb her word, and she intended to keep it. This was just about friendship.
And magic.
She heard Jamie come in and immediately run upstairs and start drawing a bath. Now that she knew he was safe, she thought she could sleep.
The shutters on her window were open, and she could see the gray spire of St. Leonardâs Church rising like a Gothic turret against the sky. When she shut her eyes she did not see that gray-on-black vision, the color of scissors slicing through black paper and cutting the night in two.
Mae remembered the music and the lights and the magic, and at the center of it all the dancers who called up demons. The girl in red who Nick had called Sin. Sheâd been dancingwhen Mae had first seen her, every movement clean and purposeful, every movement lovely. And every time she went still, the audienceâs breath caught and their attention fastened on her. She was powerful and beautiful, and in the midst of shining magic she belonged completely.
When she went to the Goblin Market, she might see that girl again.
Caught in a blurred warm place between sleep and wakefulness, Mae relived that moment, seeing that girl and feeling a pang of sudden visceral longing.
If I could have anything in this world, sheâd thought, all Iâd want is to be like her.
Sleeping with her new talisman safe around her neck, she dreamed she heard snarling and pacing outside her window, as if her garden was the stalking ground for hunting cats. She knew they could not get in, but she could not shut out the sound of their hungry cries.
6
Spirit for Your Skin
Mae woke to the sound of the doorbell ringing. She cracked open one eye, saw the blinking red numbers that told her it was six oâclock in the morning, and planted her face back into her pillow.
The doorbell rang again. Mae wondered if they had a new milkman. One with a death wish.
The bell shrilled again, the noise echoing off the high ceilings.
âOh my God, why is this
happening
to me,â Mae moaned, and dragged herself half out of her warm bed and onto the chilly window seat. She almost overbalanced and fell on the floor, but clung to her sheets and the edge of the window seat and managed to spare herself that at least.
She squinted through a pane and saw the back of a tall, dark boy.
Seb.
She was going to kill him. Did he have some sort of plan for them to watch the sun rise together? Any guy who wokeMae for the sunrise was going to end up seeing stars, because he would have forced her to punch him in the face.
She couldnât let Jamie answer the door. She fished on the ground for her jeans and dragged them on while still under the covers, then actually left her bed and found shoes. As she was tying them the doorbell rang again.
âIt would serve you right if my mother answered the door,â Mae muttered as she ran down the stairs still finger-combing her hair. âAnd beat you to death with her briefcase.â
Annabel was always appalled by Maeâs boyfriends. The idea of her motherâs face when she met Seb amused Mae enough that she answered the door smiling: It was just possible that Sebâs romantic gesture was not going to backfire on him after all.
When she opened the door it took her a moment to process. The world seemed to hold still for a moment and then hop to another reality,