The Extremely Epic Viking Tale of Yondersaay by Aoife Lennon-Ritchie Page B

into the village. All the ash that was already in the air was settling finally, and it wasn’t being replaced with new ash. It was like someone had taken a duster to the sky and cleaned away a layer of dirt.” Granny walked around the room swiping her napkin backward and forward through the air. “The days were brighter. The sun glistened overhead; some people took to wearing sunglasses. Or reflectacles as they were known then. Sunglasses hadn’t been invented yet. The sounds of rumbling had stopped too, like someone had turned off a radio in a far away room.
    “The mayor put together an expedition squad to scale the peaks of Volcano Mount Violaceous and have a look inside to see what was up. The squad set out shortly after breakfast. I won’t bore you with the details of that particular breakfast, but oh, I can still smell the bacon sizzling on the pan, sausages, eggs, mushrooms, grilled tomatoes, and black pudding rounds as thick as your wrist … ah.” Granny sighed and looked wistfully into the middle distance.
    Ruairi and Dani waited patiently. Ruairi cleared his throat quietly.
    Granny glared at them over her spectacles. “My dears, you’re possibly a little young, but when you get to my age, you will understand that the details of a good breakfast will be of the utmost importance in any tale. Where was I? Oh, yes. The expedition squad set out toward the Beach of Bewilderment and crossed the River Gargle at Tidal-Pool Bridge.” Granny hoisted Ruairi’s backpack onto her back and waded across the living room carpet as though she was hiking across sand on a windy day.
    “They scaled the peaks of Mount Violaceous on the west side”—Granny climbed up onto a chair, tottered for a minute, and launched herself into the air and landed heavily on another chair—“pausing only for Old Mrs. MacAvinney’s delicious packed lunch—crusty bread, thick slices of cheese oozing out—” Granny climbed up on the table by the window, clinging to the curtains like they were a rope. She leaned backward, picked up a sandwich, and took a bite.
    “Granny! Be careful! Please!” Ruairi said, running to stand under her with his arms out wide so he could catch her if she fell.
    “What happened next, Granny?” Dani was still sitting cross-legged on the carpet.
    “They scaled the peaks of Volcano Mount Violaceous.” Granny jumped off the table, did a tumble and roll, bounced up, and started to climb the brick fireplace. Ruairi ran and put cushions on the floor underneath her.
    “All the while suppressing little butterflies of fear that perhaps old Violaceous was just taking a break and that lava and ash would suddenly spew from the top of the mountain and engulf them in terrifying flames, leaving them either dead or worse. But the little butterflies of fear were all for nothing. It never happened. In fact, nothing happened at all. When they got to the top of the mountain and peered over and looked in, they got the surprise of their lives.” Granny jumped back down to the floor.
    “The islanders couldn’t think of a single historical event that matched this strange occurrence.” Granny went to the bookcase and pulled down a dozen books. She put on her reading glasses and leafed through all the books around about her. “The pig farmer, who was also the local geologist, had to call to mind everything he’d ever learned about rocks and volcanoes, but even he couldn’t come up with an answer. In the end, they decided it was a mystery. Though they had a theory.” Granny came over and sat down on the sofa.
    “It looked as though, during the night of Christmas Eve, while everyone was sleeping, dreaming of the presents they would get when they woke up and the wonderful things they would eat on Christmas Day, a sliver of a glacier had been swept south from the North Pole. It slid over the earth as they all slept, swooshed up the side of Mount Violaceous, and fell into the hole at the top of the mountain. It careened into the