A body floated past us. Koi didnât see it until the tangled mess of hair got caught in his oars.
Koi turned the boat around before my scream drew too much attention.
My father bars the door behind us, and pulls the curtains closed. I settle down on the mattress beside Koi. He is humming softly to our little sister Peri.
âItâll be fine, Peri,â I say. âWeâll keep you safe.â I press her teddy bear into her arms. It is mangled, missing an arm and an eye, but Peri loves it.
âI want Mommy.â
âI know you want Mommy, but sheâs busy.â I smile at Peri. âSheâs working on the Initiative boats tonight.â
âSheâll be back soon,â Koi adds.
We exchange a glance with each other. We never know if sheâll be back.
My father settles down across from us and pulls Peri into his arms. He rocks her gently. I donât remember him ever doing this for me. âGo to sleep, little one,â he says. âMommy will be here in the morning.â
Soon Peri falls asleep, but it is not peaceful. She whimpers and tosses when my father gently puts her on a mattress.
My father lights a single candle and opens our bag of rations. We have one loaf of bread and a bundle of dried meat to last us the next two days. When my mother comes home, sheâll bring more.
If she comes home.
âYou lost again, huh, sis?â Koi breaks the silence. I can see only his outline. Lean, but muscular from years of training with my father. His shoulders shake with laughter.
âWhatâs the point in fighting him, day after day?â I ask. âItâs not like heâs actually trying to murder me.â
âBut others will, someday,â Koi says.
Another bite of bread. Another bite closer to it being gone. I set it aside, save what little is left for Peri to have when she wakes up tonight, crying with hunger.
âWhen do you leave tomorrow?â I ask. Koi has his placement test in the city. A chance at a job, which means more rations, more food for all of us. Especially Peri, who gets thinner every day, when she should be growing taller and stronger.
âFirst light,â Koi says. He looks exhausted. He has been tossing in his sleep all week.
âWill you pass?â I ask. I try to keep the fear from my voice. But I know he hears it. He always notices everything about me.
âIâve trained him plenty,â my father says. âHeâs ready.â
âAnd if Iâm not?â Koiâs voice is a whisper.
My father sighs. âThen weâll just have to work harder to survive.â
He is right. The Initiative grants us rations enough for two, and only the Wards are offered free meals. Families must work for it. There are five of us. If Koi fails, we will be forced to wait until I am of age, or steal and barter to survive. Two years is a long time to be hungry.
Chapter 3
I lie awake all night. Sometime in the early morning hours, my mother arrives.
She knocks three times on the door. I open it, hug her, and breathe in the scent of lilies.
She always makes everything better. But tonight, her eyes are wild. Her silver hair is disheveled. I donât think sheâs slept in days.
âDo you want to watch the stars with me?â she asks. âI donât want to be alone.â
âYou should go to sleep,â I say.
She smiles, but it does not reach her eyes. âNot now. I donât want to dream tonight.â
I look over my shoulder, where my father lies asleep, his dagger next to him. âIt isnât safe,â I whisper.
âWe need to embrace the darkness, darling,â my mother says. âItâs beautiful.â She takes my hand and pulls me out on deck.
We lie side by side and stare up at the sky.
âThatâs Orionâs belt,â my mother says. She points up at a constellation. Three dots in a row, in a perfect line. âIt looks the same as it did when I was