fiancé.â
Suze shrieked.
âYouâre engaged!â she said. âLet me see the ring.â
She grabbed my bare left hand and looked first at my finger, then up at my face, confused.
âNo ring?â
âIâve got a ring,â I said, snatching my hand away. âBut I donât wear it.â
âWhy not?â
âBecause,â I hissed. âI donât want anyone to know Iâm engaged.â
âYou donât want George to know,â Suze said.
âNot just George,â I said. âAnyone. No one at work knows about Billy. And no one at home knows aboutâ¦â
Suze looked at me.
âAbout?â
âAbout work,â I admitted. âAbout the magazine, about what I do â none of it.â
Suze looked bewildered.
âBut your job is brilliant,â she said. âWhy donât you want to talk about it?â
I made a face.
âThings at home are⦠tricky,â I said. âMy mum died when I was little and Dadâs, well, he really only pays attention to me when I annoy him.â
Suze nodded.
âGo on.â
âIâve not told him about my job because itâs just not worth the grief heâd give me.â
âHandy with his fists, is he?â
I felt a flush of embarrassment.
âOnce or twice,â I admitted. âWell, bit more than that really. More when heâs drunk. Or angry at the world.â
Iâd never told anyone what Dad was really like. I forced my gaze upwards to meet Suzeâs and was relieved to see no pity in her eyes, just understanding.
âSo where does he think you go every day?â she asked, raising a narrow eyebrow.
âHe thinks I work in insurance and he thinks Iâm only doing it until I get married â or until I go and work for him in his shop.â
âShit,â said Suze. âThatâs a tangled web.â
âIsnât it,â I said, wryly.
âSo whenâs the wedding?â
I winced.
âWeâve not set a date yet,â I said. âBut Iâm thinking⦠never.â
âOuch,â said Suze. âWhat are you going to do?â
I looked up at the ceiling.
âNo idea,â I said. âMarry Billy, leave work and have some babies?â
Suze shuddered.
âNo,â she said.
âBreak Billyâs heart, make my dad furious and end up on the streets?â
âSometimes,â said Suze, her elfin face serious, âthe streets are better than the alternative. You just have to be brave and take a risk.â
We looked at each other for a minute. I felt a sort of connection to her, even though weâd really only just met.
I nodded.
âYouâre right,â I said, wondering what had happened to her. âI have to take a risk.â
I smiled weakly.
âLetâs do it. Iâll bring my typewriter to yours and we can get busy. Who knows, if we sell enough articles weâll be able to afford to rent a flat.â
Suze bounced up and down in her seat.
âOh Iâd love that,â she said. âImagine the fun weâll have.â
And the funny thing was, I could imagine it. I really could.
Chapter 14
So we put our plan into action. I sowed the seeds at home that evening.
âThereâs a course Iâm hoping to do,â I said to Dad as I sliced carrots for dinner. âItâs book-keeping and itâs aimed at small businesses. Itâs perfect for the shop.â
Dad was reading the Standard at the kitchen table, cup of tea at his elbow. I was pleased heâd not started drinking as soon as he came home, like he sometimes did. It would help me if he could follow the conversation without flying off the handle.
âI do the books,â he said, not looking up.
âOh I know,â I said, sweeping the carrots into the mince. âBut one day you might want me to take over. Or I can help Billy at the garage. Itâs a useful