The Fray Theory: Resonance by Nelou Keramati Page B

perceive, perform, and react to
suicide.”
    “But don’t people usually
leave a note?”
    “If they have something to
say, yes. But for most people, suicide is simply a way out—a means to end their
suffering.”
    Suffering …
    The back of Neve’s eyes
sting as she wells up. She swallows the painful pill in her throat, brows
knitted to combat her vulnerability.
    “Are you angry?” Galen
asks.
    “No,” she says. “Not at
him, anyway.”
    Galen’s eyes narrow a bit,
so Neve drops her gaze and starts to fiddle with her jacket’s zipper.
    This is it. If she’s going
to bring up her nightmare, now is the time.
    “At yourself?” Galen asks
with a voice completely devoid of empathy, and diverts his focus onto Neve’s
history forms.
    “I know people tend to
blame themselves in these situations, but in my case it’s warranted.”
    “Warranted how?” he looks
up. “Did you know he was suicidal?”
    “Of course not,” she
blurts out as though she’s just been condemned. “I mean—this wasn’t his first
bout of depression. He’d been battling it for years.”
    “Then why the ‘warranted’
self-blame?”
    The image of her eighteen outgoing
calls to Elliot flashes before her eyes.
    “I don’t know,” Neve
shakes her head. “I guess on some level, I feel like I could’ve stopped him.”
    “You just said you didn’t
know he was suicidal.”
    How on earth is Neve going
to explain this to him? “It doesn’t make sense, but I feel like my mind—my
subconscious—somehow knew something awful was going to happen. I don’t
know how it’s even possible, but I had a dream about his suicide the night
before.”
    “It’s not uncommon for deeply-brewing
concerns to surface when you least expect them. In your case, manifesting in
dreams.”
    “But my dream was too specific, almost identical to how things
went down.”
    “And what was it about?”
    Galen’s words sound inviting, but
his indifference makes Neve want to drop the whole thing.
    She gets that he’s probably dealt
with hundreds of similar cases, but can’t he at least pretend to care?
    “ I
was standing high up on a diving board, holding an anchor. And I jumped. And
the next morning the cops told me my friend tried to drown himself at the
university’s Aquatic Centre, chained to a fifty-pound weight.”
    Galen’s stare deepens as his eyes
dart back and forth between Neve’s. “An anchor..?”
    Neve nods once. “And I remember in
the dream it all made perfect sense. I knew exactly what I was doing. It was
like I’d already accepted my fate.”
    Galen removes his glasses, folds
them gently, and slips them into his vest’s pocket. He puts his pen and pad away
and leans forward, his gray eyes filled with not just intrigue, but a deep
concern. “Have you ever had similar dreams in the past?”
    “Dreams about death?”
    “Dreams that manifest into
reality. Come true.”
    A wave of optimism washes over Neve.
It’s like Galen has harvested her very thoughts. “I have. But just a few,” she understates.
    “Can you give me an example?”
    She’s already here. Might as well take
advantage of this opportunity. “I don’t know if this is relevant, but when I
was a kid, I had a dream about lying at the base of a pool.”
    Galen leans back and crosses his
legs. “Go on.”
    “I couldn’t tell if the pool was filled
or not, but I couldn’t move. It’s like I was dead, but still aware of everything.
And I remember this dark figure walking up to the edge, looking in.”
    Galen rests his elbow on the
armrest and nestles his chin between his thumb and index finger. “Did this
figure frighten you?”
    “No,” Neve admits right away. “I even
remember wanting to let her know I’m fine, but I couldn’t talk. I remember
wondering if that’s what death is like.”
    “For everyone to think you’re
gone, even though your awareness remains?”
    “You could say that,” she allows,
her focus sinking through the air. “It was nice,