The Grey Girl by Eleanor Hawken Page A

in your mind and then pull out three cards.’
    â€˜Any cards?’ I asked.
    She nodded. ‘The three cards that are pulling you towards them.’
    Will I ever be happy? Will I ever be happy?
I repeated in my mind, over and over. As I repeated the question and stared at the cards, I let my focus drift so the deck blurred into one. Slowly, I reached out and tugged on the corner of three cards, one from either end and one from the middle.
    Nell pulled out the three cards I had touched and flipped them over. She pointed to a card with the Roman numeral VII and a picture of a golden chariot ridden by a woman with flames in her hair. ‘This card represents the road you have walked.’ Next she pointed to a card of an older man with a flowing grey beard; in one hand he held a golden chalice, in the other a silver spear. ‘This card is the path you stand on now. And this card is the road that lies ahead.’ The final card had an image of a plain, ashen-faced girl standing alone in a field, grey standing-stones surrounding her – like the ones you see at Stonehenge. ‘Together the three cards give you an answer to your question.’
    â€˜So what’s the answer?’ I asked, leaning forwards. ‘What do they mean?’
    â€˜This first card, The Chariot, tells me that in the past you’ve had to summon a great strength from inside yourself, one that you previously did not know you had. You have been driven by fear, but have overcome that fear. And yet your fear still haunts you, it’s still a driving force for you now. And where you stand now is represented by this card here.’ She tapped the central card. ‘The Magician is a place of great strength. You sometimes find it difficult to understand that you are in control, Suzy. You have the power to transform old situations. You must use that energy buried deep inside yourself to evolve, you must focus your will. And if you can do that, then the path ahead for you is a very interesting one. You’re very special, Suzy. That much is obvious to anyone, and it’s here for me now in the cards you have selected. This card here –’ she pointed to the card with the girl on it, the card that represented my future – ‘is The Daughter of Stones. This is what we tarot readers refer to as a Minor Arcana card. The Daughter of Stones represents great energy, sacred energy. Energy harvested through rituals and visions.’ My heart gave a sudden jolt at the words she used. ‘Rituals’, ‘visions’ – it made me think of Ouija boards, seances, candles and chanting, the very things that had brought about my ‘visions’ at school. Visions I’m not sure I wanted to ever have again. ‘You must use your strength to take responsibility for a power greater than yourself,’ Nell said, her eyes burning with intensity as she looked straight at me.
    â€˜What do you mean?’ I asked, hearing my voice catch in my throat. ‘What power greater than myself?’
    â€˜You have great love and courage and inner beauty, Suzy. But you also have an ability to see the world in a way that others can’t. This is both a great gift and a great burden. You’re walking a path that is very special, but also very lonely. It’s a path that most people cannot follow you down. You must learn to be very strong if you are to survive the road ahead. I’d say …’ She paused and stared at me for a beat. ‘… I’d say that you already know what lies ahead. You know what your visions mean. Being a visionary will stand you apart from others, but that is not something that should be feared.’
    â€˜
A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world
,’ I whispered. ‘Oscar Wilde said that. Maybe that’s me, someone who must find their way by moonlight.’ I blinked the