The Hour of the Star by Clarice Lispector Page B

accuse me of taking advantage of my clients, but as I said before, not even the police can get rid of Jesus. You have seen how Jesus even provided me with money to buy all this expensive furniture?
    — Yes, Madame.
    — Ah, so you agree? I could tell right away that you're a bright girl, and, just as well, because it was having my wits about me that saved me.
    As she spoke, Madame Carlota extracted one chocolate after another from an open box and popped them into her tiny mouth. She made no attempt to offer one to Macabéa. Macabéa who, as I mentioned, tended to notice the smallest detail, observed that inside every chocolate Madame Carlota bit into, there was a thick cream filling. She did not covet Madame Carlota's chocolates for Macabéa had discovered that things belonged to others.
    — I was poor, I had nothing to eat, no decent clothes to wear. So I became a prostitute. I quite enjoyed the work for I'm a very affectionate woman, and I became very fond of all my clients. Besides, life was good in the red-light district. There was a great deal of friendship among the prostitutes. We were a closely-knit community, and only very rarely did I fight with any of the other girls. The quarrels were enjoyable, too, for I was a sturdy lass and I enjoyed punching, biting and pulling the hair of anyone who crossed me. Speaking of biting, you can't imagine what lovely teeth I once had, all white and sparkling. Alas, they rotted so badly that I'm left with dentures. Can you tell that my teeth are false?
    — No, Madame.
    You know, I was very fussy about my appearance and I never caught any diseases. Well, I did have syphilis once, but a dose of penicillin soon cured me. I was more understanding than the other prostitutes because I'm very kind-hearted. After all, what I was giving was mine to give. I had a man whom I really adored and whom I kept for he was very genteel and didn't want to soil his lovely hands. He was my little luxury, and sometimes I even used to let him give me a good thrashing. Whenever he gave me a thrashing, I could tell that he was genuinely fond of me and I enjoyed being thrashed. With him it was love, with the other men simply a job. After he disappeared, I took up with another woman to try and forget him. To be loved by another woman is really rather nice. It would even be preferable in your case because you're much too delicate to cope with the brutality of men. If you can find yourself a woman friend, you'll soon find out how nice it can be. Love between two women is more affectionate. Is there any chance of you finding yourself a woman friend?
    — No, Madame.
    — You ought to do something about your appearance, dearie. Without a touch of glamour, you don't stand a chance. How I miss the red-light district. I knew the Mangue when it was at its best and frequented by real gentlemen. I earned lots of tips, in addition to the fixed rate. They tell me the Mangue is finished and that there are only about six brothels left. I used to stand in the doorway wearing nothing except panties and a bra made of transparent lace. Later on, when I put on weight and started losing my teeth, I decided to run my own brothel. Do you know what the word brothel means? I always use that word because I've never been frightened of words. There are some people who get all worked up if you mention certain words. Are you frightened of words, my pet?
    — Yes, Madame, I am.
    Don't worry, dear. I'll try not to shock you with swear words. They tell me that the Mangue smells something terrible these days. In my time, people burned incense to make the place smell nice. The brothel used to smell like the inside of a church. And people were decent and very devout. When I was on the game, I saved quite a bit of money. The woman who managed the brothel took her percentage, of course. Now and then, there were ugly scenes and even gun fights, but I was never involved. Tell me, flower, am I boring you with the story of my life? No? Are you