The Last Straw

The Last Straw by Jeff Kinney Page A

Book: The Last Straw by Jeff Kinney Read Free Book Online
Authors: Jeff Kinney
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    200

    Friday

    Today at school I overheard Holly tell a couple of her friends that she was gonna meet them at the rollerskating rink tonight, and a lightbulb went on over my head.
    After school I asked Mom if she'd take me to the Roll-a-Round tonight, and she said yes but I'd have to get a ride home from someone else's parents. So I invited Rowley along.
    As soon as Rowley showed up at my front door, I knew I made a mistake inviting him.
    [Image: A boy opens the door to find another boy.]
    Rowley had his hair all teased up, and he was dressed just like his favorite singer, Joshie.
    201
    And I think Rowley might have even been wearing sparkly lip gloss, but I can't say for sure. I couldn't stop to worry about the way Rowley looked, though, because I had my OWN problems. Earlier on I had lost one of my contact lenses, so that meant I had to wear my backup glasses. The lenses on those things are about three inches thick, and they look RIDICULOUS.
    If I'm not wearing my contact lenses or my glasses, I'm as blind as a bat. I guess I should just feel lucky that I wasn't alive during caveman times, because I wouldn't have been able to hunt or do anything useful. I'm sure my tribe-mates would've ditched me the first chance they got.
    [Image: A boy and two men in the open.] The caption reads: "IS THIS WHERE YOU GUYS SAW THAT ALBINO WOOLLY MAMMOTH?
    BLINK BLINK
    ZOW
    ZIP"
    202
    I probably would've had to become a wise man or something just to make everyone think I was worth keeping around.
    On the ride to the rollerskating rink tonight, I gave Rowley some instructions on how to behave if I got into a conversation with Holly Hills-knowing him, he could seriously hurt my chances with her.
    [Image: Two boys talking.]
    I wish I had waited until we were out of the car, because Mom overheard our conversation.
    [Image: Two ladies and a boy in the car.] The caption reads: "HOLLY HILLS? HOLLY HILLS WAS THE ONLY FOUR-YEAR-OLD AT PRESCHOOL WHO WASN'T POTTY TRAINED.
    LA LA LA... I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
    203
    When we pulled up at the Roll-a-Round, I got out of the car before Mom could say anything ELSE I didn't want to hear.
    Me and Rowley paid our admission and then went inside. We rented our skates and brought them over to the arcade area, where I scoped out the whole scene.
    I spotted Holly over by the snack bar. She was with a bunch of her friends, so I wasn't ready to go and talk to her just yet.
    At 9:00 the DJ announced "Couples Skate." A lot of people were pairing up, and Holly was sitting at a table, all alone. I knew this was the chance I was waiting for.
    [Image: A girls sits and sips her drink.]
    204
    I started making my way over to her, but getting around on skates was a LOT harder than I thought it would be. I had to hug the wall just to stay on my feet.
    [Image: A boy is freaked out.]
    It was taking FOREVER, and I realized the song was gonna be over by the time I got to Holly. So I got down on my butt and scooted over to her to speed things up.
    [Image: A boy is sitting on the floor as people walk past.] The caption reads: "SCOOCH SCOOCH"
    I almost got run over a couple of times, but I finally made it to the snack bar.
    205
    Holly was still there, sitting by herself. Time was running out, so I had to take a shortcut through a puddle of soda to get to her.
    On my way across the snack bar, I tried to work out what I was going to say to Holly. I realized I wasn't looking my coolest at that moment, so I knew I was gonna have to say something pretty smooth to make up for it. But before I even had a chance to open my mouth, Holly said four words that changed everything-

    [Image: A girl at the table talks to the boy on the floor.]
    The caption reads: "
    ISN'T YOUR NAME "FREGLEY"?"

    I started to tell her I was Greg Heffley, the guy from the "Doggie Dropped It" joke, but right then Couples Skate ended, and Holly's friends swooped in and pulled her out onto the rink.
    206
    I made my way back to the arcade, and that's where I stayed for the

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