The Lazarus Effect by H. J Golakai Page B

like my kin was too much to handle. He fucks off to …’ she flapped her hands, ‘wherever, and I’m left here dealing with …’
    ‘V. J.’ Joshua stayed quiet for a full minute. ‘This was too much on both of you. You were unconscious from an ectopic pregnancy gone rogue. He had to make a call. No guy wants to be the one to call his fiancée’s parents, like, ‘Hey, your daughter’s dead by the way, ’cause I kept my thumb up my ass too long deciding what to do.’ And he took care of you afterwards, while you blamed yourself and him and the entire world. You were a mess.’ He made a move towards her and she got up and walked to the sliding glass doors feeding out onto the patio and backyard. ‘And I say ‘were’, because though you’re still pretty shitty now, you’re in much better shape.’ Pause. ‘He loves you. He didn’t abandon you.’
    Vee snorted. ‘ Six months and no word. How the hell d’you know?’
    ‘I know what it is to love you.’
    Vee stared at her lawn. It was easy to forget, in the throes of her egocentric rages, that she wasn’t the only one dealing with the fallout. Joshua had stuck it out, for his own quasi-selfish reasons, true, but he had, never once railing against his friend. Whatever Code Amongst Men Titus had broken, Joshua hadn’t broken rank and had kept it together for her sake. She wanted her pound of flesh; as much as she loathed to admit it, her ex still had a hold on her. An ever-slackening hold – barring a sprinkle of bad days, Titus now crossed her mind with lazy frequency – but a complete exorcism was in order.
    She blinked back the film of sting in her eyes. Other than Connie, Joshua was the size of it in her realm of ride-or-die allies in Cape Town. Titus got the friends after Armageddon.It’d probably be to her benefit to come clean about the anxiety attacks. Joshua had borne far more than his share of the weight for their friendship, but he deserved honesty. He was a staunch advocate of facing oneself in all things, and the frightening magnitude of her symptoms indicated there could be something concrete to his theory.
    Joshua said: ‘Back to your thing. It’s strange, but it made me …’ He stopped. ‘What? You were about to say something.’
    ‘Hehn? No. Just a random thought.’ She waved it away. ‘What’s strange?’
    He squinted at her for a long time. ‘The story sounds familiar. I dunno, something you said in the beginning …’
    ‘Well, you were here two years ago. Jacqueline Paulsen’s disappearance didn’t make headlines, but it got local media coverage. I’m sure you read or heard about it.’
    ‘No, that’s not it. More recent … Anyway, it’s gone now. But it’ll come back to me.’ He rose.
    She walked him to the front door, a pang knocking round her chest. She didn’t want to be alone just yet. Monro tottered after them, nudging the back of Joshua’s legs, and settled on his haunches at the door. ‘When’re you planning to take your dog back?’
    ‘Next week,’ Joshua lied promptly. ‘Saturday. Next week Saturday, bright and early.’
    Vee sniggered and gave a thumbs-up. ‘Next week’ was a year-old excuse. An attack in childhood left her terrified of dogs until Joshua had dumped the husky on her for a couple of weeks, which had turned into, well. And he went on enjoyinghis spacious Sea Point apartment while Monro tore around her tiny yard.
    ‘Your eyes look like a horror movie. Get some rest. Don’t stay up all night chasing clues down that black hole between your ears,’ he said. ‘And eat something. Fatten up a little. Your ass used to be thorough.’
    He dawdled; he always did. Vee dawdled with him. It felt good, smelled good, having a man this close. He gave his customary goodbye, a graze at the edge of her mouth, a little too protracted as always but quite safe. She didn’t expect it when he pulled back, turned her inside out with a look, and kissed her full on without pause or caution. Soft,