The Man Who Made Husbands Jealous by Jilly Cooper Page B

penetrating grey eyes, noticed he was wearing a new Hawkes tie, and that his black scholar's gown, now green with age, was no longer full of holes where it had kept catching on door handles. His mother had only used needles to remove rose thorns, so the invisible stitches must be Mustard's work, as was the posy of mauve and blue freesias on his father's desk, whose sweet, delicate scent fought with the blasts of lunchtime curry drifting from the school kitchens.
        There was a long, awkward pause. Lysander tried not to yawn. Noticing how the lines had deepened round his father's mouth and how the dark rings beneath his eyes nearly joined his arched black brows, as though he waswearing glasses, Lysander felt a wave of compassion.
        'How are you, Dad?'
        'Coping,' snapped David.
        Then a pigeon landed on the window-sill and for a blissful second, David thought it was Simonides. Then, as reality reasserted itself, he channelled his misery into a furious attack on Lysander for sending the wrong letter.
        'How dare you refer to Mrs Colman in those offensive terms,' he said finally, 'after all she's done for the school? Quite by chance, recognizing your illiterate scrawl, I opened the letter. Imagine the hurt it would have caused Mrs Colman if she'd seen it.'
        Crossing the room, he threw the vile document on the fire, putting a log on top to bury it.
        'What the hell have you got to say for yourself? And take off that ridiculous baseball cap.'
        Flushing like a girl, Lysander opened his eyes wide and launched into a flurry of apology.
        'I'm really, really sorry, Dad, I honestly am. Basically it's very expensive living in London, and I honestly didn't mean to upset you and Mustard… I mean Mrs Colman, but basically my car's been nicked and I'd no idea Arthur's vet's bills were going to be so high, and I honestly promise to do better, and basically my attitude towards money is-' He got to his feet to let in the school cat who was mewing piteously on the window-ledge.
        'Sit down,' thundered his father.
        'But it's freezing. Hesiod always came in when Mum-Then, seeing his father's face, he sat down. He desperately needed some money. 'As I was saying, basically my attitude-
        'That's enough,' David interrupted him. 'You have used the words basically and honestly about twenty times in the last five minutes. There is absolutely nothing honest about your promises to do better, nor basic about your attitude to money. You roll up here, plainly hungover to the teeth. You bring disrepute on the family getting your exploits plastered all over the papers. I hoped you would have learnt that no gentleman ever discusses the women with whom he's been to bed.'
        With a shudder, Lysander wondered if his father had bonked Mustard yet. The fumes of curry were really awful. He hoped the bursar had ordered a consignment of three-ply bog-paper to deal with it. Poor Hesiod was still mewing.
        'What is worse,' went on his father, 'is that in order to secure that job in the City which I gather Roddy Ballenstein has already withdrawn can't
        say I blame him I
        have been forced to admit the stupidest boy I have ever come across.'
        'Stupider than me?' said Lysander in amazement.
        'It is not funny!'
        'I'm really sorry, Dad.' Lysander noticed with a stab of pain that his father had removed his mother's photograph from the mantelpiece. Probably Mustard's doing. Dragging his mind back to the present he heard his father saying:
        'I realize from your letter that you only came down to tap me. Well, I'm not helping you. You've got to learn to stand on your own feet. I suggest you send that horse on which you're always squandering money to the knackers, and get yourself a decent job. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a governors' meeting.'
        Lysander went quietly outside, but when he saw a gloating Mustard peering round